RR through our eyes (Chapter 34)
Thanks Mano for the edits.
Author’s note: I have the following lines to tell you all
(taken from the song of OneRepublic)
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
This time don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
But I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
This time don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
But I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
*****
A perfect Suhaag Raat for the
perfect couple after their perfect wedding. Will their married life be perfect
? That is for us to wait and see.
The question might come back
to haunt him tomorrow. Whether she is really Paro ? Or is she Myrah who came to
know about Paro and Rudra story from Phulwari and started dreaming about them ?
He will make a list of all the things that made him believe she is Paro. And
the only thing against it being the association with the NGO woman Phulwari. He
will do lot more analysis in his brain. He will probably question quite a
number of people. He will gather a lot of information to prove she is indeed
Paro.
Is Rudra in for a roller
coaster ride ?
OR will he forget all the
questions and doubts in wake of the wonderful night they shared ?
***
The “morning after” was as
sweet as it could be - with Rudra waking up slowly – realising he is sprawled
across - all over his dear Paro. Two nights in a row he has woken up seeing her
face. He kept looking at her. And he thought
this is pure bliss.
She woke up feeling something
against her cheeks. Partially opened her eyes to see Rudra’s face. And him
grazing his cheek against hers. The one day old stubble tickled her. And
pricked her too. She smiled thinking of how he always does that to see her
pout. So that he can then kiss the pout away. In anticipation of the kiss she
pouted and he kissed her. And she
thought this is unbridled happiness.
Somebody knocked on the door.
Come to think of it maybe the knock was what woke up Rudra. Else he and his
beloved were lost in their own world. Rudra got up and after waking Paro. It
was Maithili Bhabhisa and Samrat.
“Devarjisa , das baj gaye.
Hum Haveli Jaane ki tayaari Karen ?” She asked with a mischievous smile on her
face.
“Haan we will get ready soon.
Where are the others ?”
“Sab Ghar chale gaye. Only
the four of us are left. And we are here to make sure you come back soon. At
least before lunch.” She said. Her face still not ready to let go of the smile.
“Haan. In half an hour we
will be downstairs Bhabhisa.”
And as promised they were
back in the haveli where some semblance of order had returned. Only the family
was left now. The children were waiting for them to reach home to take Paro
away to join in their games. Rudra watched Paro playing hide and seek with
them.
And he thought this is pure bliss.
She was aware of his eyes on
her. Wandering all over her body. Piercing through her soul. The need, the want
in them. She watched his relaxed stance. It was a long time since she saw him
like that. Before the marriage he was always under stress – worried about some
imaginary doom which will fall on them. Worried about Tejawat striking. Oh she
had heard the story of Tejawat and his connection to Parvati and Maasa. Though
not aware of all the details she knew the gist of it. And could not understand
why Tejawat will still be behind them. After all she is just a look alike of
Paro. Paro was long gone. The witness was no more around. But Rudra was
worried. Though he momentarily forgot all about that during the marriage
ceremony , the alertness and stress was back soon. And peaked after dinner. She
will never know probably why Rudra wanted to be away from her yesterday night.
But all is well that ends well. She is happy. She is Mrs Rudra Pratap Ranawat
as he called her. He is happy and calm and relieved. And she thought this is unbridled happiness.
Lunch was again a grand
affair. The whole family including the Mehras sitting and talking and passing
on dishes to each other. Paro next to him and Dhruv on her other side. Paro
stealing glances at him from time to time. Their fingers touching every time
they passed things to each other. And then her shy smile. He found it difficult
to look away from her.
And he thought this is pure bliss.
If he keeps looking like this
at her she will melt very soon. She was sure he was wantedly running his long
fingers over hers every time they exchanged vessels. And she was also sure he
deliberately asked her to get him the curds or the dal or the roti. She was a
modern girl. Used to much more open romance in the west. Why then does she feel
he conveys much more love even with those feather touches ? Why does she feel
that the air is thick with passion ready to explode ? And most of all why is
she feeling shy ? In spite of feeling shy why does she want him to continue
looking at her ? She was enjoying this attention from Rudra. Which wife will
not want her husband to look at her as if she is the only thing that matters in
this whole world ? Which girl will not want her lover to tell her through his
eyes that he wants to devour her ? She was lucky to have found him, her
Bhaagya. And she thought this is
unbridled happiness.
After lunch the whole family
had assembled for dessert in the hall when Rudra got a call from his colleague.
One of the girls who had got kidnapped had been found early morning. She had
escaped from the place where they were tied up and imprisoned. It was Megha,
the minister’s daughter. She was in a very bad state and was being treated in
the hospital. She was not in a condition
to speak. And there was no news about the other girl Radha (who is a local).
The doctors had advised everybody to wait till the next evening before trying
to talk to Megha. Rudra promised to be in the hospital in the evening and hung
up. He shared the news with Paro and also about how relieved he was that they
could get back at least one of the victims alive. They had almost lost hope.
Rudra tried to tune in into
the conversations. They were talking about Mehras’s trip back which was
scheduled for the next Sunday. About when Rudra can visit them in US along with
his family. And then suddenly Sunehri wanted to know where Rudra is planning
his honeymoon. The family which took care of everything did not plan or book
tickets for the honeymoon as Rudra had told them that he will take care of it
himself. Dhruv and Koel was suddenly keen to know what honeymoon is all about.
It was Poonam who explained it beautifully to him.
“When you get a new friend
you will want to spend more time with him – right ? Sharing stories, watching
TV, playing games etc ? For any new relation we form we need to spend quality
time to get to know each other. Same goes for the husband and wife too. So they
take some time off and go to a vacation spot and stay there for a few days.
Understand about what each of them like. How they would like to plan their life
together and so on. Usi Ko Honeymoon Bolte Hain....”
“But Mumma and Papa know each
other well already ” Children and their innocent questions.
“Haan but that is not enough.
Here there is always the house work and Papa’s office work. Now your Momma’s
work for NGO also which she will continue from here. They need to be away from
all this busy work to talk to each other.” Maithili pitched in.
“Then I also want to go. I
also want to get to know Momma more. Here I have school and then home work
after that. I am also taking leave then” Dhruv was adamant. And everybody burst
out laughing.
“Tumhen Koi Leke Nahin
Jaanewaala. “ Kakisa’s habit of making others sad with her words was not so
easily forgotten.
Dhruv’s face fell. He was
almost ready to cry.
“Haan Dhruv. Sure. We will not
go anywhere without you. But if you think you can skip school now, think again.
We will go only when you have your holidays. And yes I also want to know you
better. Okay ?“ Paro put Dhruv at ease
winking at Rudra.
And he thought this is pure bliss.
And she thought this is unbridled happiness.
Some say happiness is
fleeting. Some others say that we inadvertently cast evil eye on our own
happiness. Must be true for Parud for sure.
Shatabdi was the one who came
to Rudra to give him another serving of kheer. He was again on a call with his
office. Standing near the main door. He had just finished his call and extended
the katori towards her. She poured the kheer. Smiled at him and walked away a
step. Stopped, turned and asked him, “ So did you have the alcohol vs milk
drinking competition with Myrah too ? The way you had with Paro. Did Myrah
drink milk and win? “
Some innocent people do more
damage than evil ones. And quite a few people do not know what to say and what
to keep within themselves. They have no idea what havoc a carelessly thrown
word can cause in other’s lives. At this
instant Shatabdi is one such person whose
brain did not allow her to think beyond petty Achar wars.
And Paro – if she had known
what transpired now – would have cursed the moment when she shared this info
with Shatabdi. It was the day after Sumer’s wedding. Shatabdi was a bundle of
sorrow the day after morning. The saying that those who act tough are actually covering
up all the fear and worries was perfect for Shatabdi. Paro was not one to share personal info
freely with others. But she always falls for other’s tears. Especially the
innocent ones’. To put Shatabdi at ease and to make her mood better Paro shared
her own milk drinking story. Little would she have imagined that it will come
back to haunt her.
There
is also an old Native American saying -
When
you are in doubt, be still, and wait;
So
long as mists envelop you, be still;
Be
still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists
As it
surely will.
Then
act with courage.
But Rudra was not one to wait
or sit still. On the contrary he just wanted to find out immediately a place to
sit peacefully and think. He wanted to get out of this haveli before he blurted
out something to Paro. Or is it Myrah ? He wanted to clear this thoughts. He murmured in the hall about an emergency in
the kidnapping case and how his going out is very important. How he will be
late coming back. He went to his room to pick up his wallet and keys to the
Jeep. While searching for the keys he
heard Paro behind.
“The videographer is coming
to show us the albums and the recording. Can’t you go a little later ?”
“No it is urgent. Where are
my keys ?”
“What is so urgent ? Just two
minutes back you said one of the girls returned. And still in the hospital and
that you can talk to her only in the evening. “
“Yeah something else came
up.”
“What came up Rudra ? I can
understand if you tell me. I am not an uneducated person. “
“Yeah but I cannot tell you
anything now. I have to myself analyse it. Where did I keep the keys ? “ He was
no more sure whether he was talking about the case or about his thoughts.
“Keys are with me. You are
hiding something again. Unless you tell me the truth I am not going to give it
to you. “ she dangled the keys in front of his face.
“Bhavali Ho Gayi Hai Paro ?
Bachon Jaise Harkatein Mat Karo. Chaabi De Do.” His displeasure was audible in
the tone and the words.
But she did not hear anything
beyond the name Paro. Her fingers on their own slackened and the key slid the
length of her index finger and landed on the floor with a tinkling sound. Which
made Rudra even angrier. He picked it up and looked at her with anger oozing
out of his every pore.
Anger at her for letting the
key fall
Anger at her for hiding his
key
Anger at her for questioning
him
Anger at her for trying to
stop him from going away
Anger at her for making him
so confused
Anger at her for making him
believe she is Paro
Anger at her for not telling
him about knowing Phulwari
Anger at her for going around
and telling everybody about their first night. Their first first night. About
the milk vs alcohol drinking.
Is he angry at Myrah or Paro
?
His eyes became clouded –
with anger with wetness, with sadness, with helplessness. He blinked them and
looked at her again. To see all these emotions reflected in hers. Why is she
sad and angry and shocked and helpless ? Then it dawned on him what he said to
her. He addressed her as Paro. And she heard it.
Before today he was afraid to tell his family the truth about Paro.
Lest they break them apart
Before today he was afraid to
tell the Mehras the truth.
Lest they take their daughter
away from him
Before today he was afraid to
tell her the truth.
Lest her health condition
takes her away from him
Before today he was afraid to
let her go out on her own.
Lest Tejawat or his men see
her and harm her
But now today- at this moment
- he knew the only person he should have been afraid of was himself.
For doubting destiny
For doubting love
For doubting her
and
For doubting himself
For creating this divide.
This barrier in their minds.
Rudra realised what he said
and cleared his throat to say something. But Paro was in no mood to listen.
“Just go Rudra”
“Woh Main. That was
a........” he tried to start again with no idea of what to say. What can
possibly be an explanation for calling her Paro ?
“Just leave.....Rudra. Or do
you want me to leave ? “ her voice came out broken. And the threat sounded weak to her own ears.
He saw her breaking down. He
knew why. He was the cause.
Before he broke her heart
with just one word she had seen him starting to lose control. And she thought
she knew why. She was the cause.
They stood their facing each
other. Not able to move or say anything.
They wanted to move away but thir hearts wanted to stay close.
They both were hoping that
the last few minutes could be turned back. And they could be back to their
loving life.
But it was not to be.
His brain is trying to
control his mind. Making him doubt his Paro.
And her brain is not able to bring back her
memories. Making her doubt his love for her present form.
No riches or brains can turn
the clock back.
OR bring back the past.
OR take back the words
spoken.
One has to live with the
consequences.
If you reached till here I am
assuming you read the chapter fully. Please leave your comments, thoughts and
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