Chapter 20

RR through our eyes (Chapter 20)

 

Thanks Mano for the edits.

Thanks to Diya and Amy for reviewing this chapter and providing feedback

 

 

In the palace the next day night Thakur received a call from the same number. “Thakursa, did you see the picture I sent through the messenger?” asked the voice at the other end.

 

“Yes. I saw it. It looks suspiciously similar to Parvati. Do you have any more info than what you informed the messenger? And I was expecting you to be here in person. Isn't that what we agreed ? I do not like people who go back on their word.” Tejawat was used to things happening as per his command. His displeasure was quite explicit in his words. Had it been his kingdom and his Raaj the receiving party would have met with the sword and not words. Just a rearrangement of a letter you see....

 
 

“Forgive me Thakursa. I was planning to come myself but the drama which unfolded back here made me stay back. I was not sure whether I could reach your palace without being seen. So I decided to meet our old messenger in the town and pass on the photo and the information. “

 

“Theek Hai. Theek Hai. Keep an eye on her and inform me of the developments.“ Thakursa was in his authoritative best.

 

“Yes of course. I will”

 

The phone went dead and the person who called spent the next one hour wondering about the bargain which can be struck with Tejawat regarding Myrah. If Myrah is indeed Parvati then steps need to be taken. Nipping in the bud is the best way forward and one needs a powerful ally in the process. Who better than Tejawat?

 

Tejawat cannot and will not forget or forgive Rudra. The damage he has suffered in Rudra’s hands was beyond repair or so it looked but Tejawat was not one to give up so easily. Blood and sweat are the main ingredients for building an empire and to build an empire back from the ruins need more of the same two and Thakursa did just that. Rudra and BSD had almost decimated his team of loyal workers but Tejawat was not one to lose heart. Parvati’s wedding and subsequent discovery of BSD and the case had led a part of the village to view the Thakur with suspicion. He had to do lot of good over a year to get those people also on board. He conducted several real marriages with grooms across the border to instill the faith in him.

 

Years back he had given a push in the right direction to the people of the village by murdering innocents in the name of BSD. He made the janata believe that BSD is not for their protection. He, Thakur Param Singh Tejawat is the protector. Now he resorted to kidnappings for ransom to impress upon the poor that his absence and lack of power had led to chaos in the village. He claimed helplessness to save those who got kidnapped because he did not have enough men on his side. He knew there is no dearth of people in the country waiting to be brainwashed. Waiting to use all that strength and energy of the youth in any activity if they get a leader, A leader with high levels of influencing skills. That is one skill which Thakursa had in abundance. He lured the younger men into his camp through these stories and preaching. Like a seasoned politician he created trouble in the dark and then was present to solve them in the day – in front of everybody. Slowly but surely he got back the faith of the villagers. Then over the remaining years he was back to arms trading through other channels.

 

He was not a fool to go behind Rudra and BSD now and to get into trouble. Yes Thakur is a man of huge ego but he is also an intelligent man. He will never allow ego to get the better of him. He will wait to see how the story unfolds about the girl, before taking any steps.

 

--

 

In the haveli the next two days went off at the blink of an eye. As far as Rudra was concerned it did not go the way he was hoping it would. After the short time he got with Paro – no not Paro, it is Myrah – he has to remind himself. He cannot refer to her as Paro and complicate things further. After the short time he got with Myrah in the afternoon the number of members in the household increased by three and that made it more difficult for him to get Myrah alone. Sunehri was always a big fan of Paro, her beauty, her petite frame and above all her slender waist. And now she was a bigger fan of Myrah. A romantic at heart Sunehri wanted to know all about Myrah’s first meeting with Rudra, who fell for whom first, who confessed love first and when and how they decided to get married and the ladies started discussing all wedding purchases and functions and preparations. Their plans to greet Myrah’s parents were one of their favorite topics. Arrangements about who will sleep where. With so many guests in the house they had to get the servants to clear up a few unused rooms. Get them decorated and so on and so forth.

 

To add to this hectic schedule of Myrah, Rudra had to be in the office for longer hours due to a kidnapping case. The case was present last week itself but took a new turn with it turning out that our of the two girls who were kidnapped – one was a daughter of a minister from the south. Making it a high profile case and the minister did not want the media to be involved. The police were of course doing their investigation. But the minister had sent two of his trusted security personnel to work with Rudra’ agency to track the case.

 

When Myrah was not well Rudra could spend the night next to her bedside. Now he had to follow the rules of the haveli – which he himself had proudly announced to Rohit earlier – and gracefully move back to sharing the room with Rohit. Dhruv – the lucky guy – was back to his room with Myrah. Rudra was jealous of Dhruv for the first time. Well, he consoled himself. It is just a matter of a few days before the three of them can cuddle together.

 

But then time has a strange quality. Sometimes you feel time is moving so slow and some other times that it is too fast. The same time frame can have different effect on you depending on where you are zooming in. The two days went off just like that for Rudra but if he zoomed in into the nights – it went so slow. He was so impatient for the morning sun to rise so that he can get up and in the pretext of waking up Dhruv, meet Myrah. Keep staring at her while she slept peacefully looking gorgeous and flawless. Then he felt time sped like a rocket because he would not have had his fill of looking at Myrah before Dhruv wakes up or Bhabhisa comes in or his phone rings. So you see the speed at which time moves depends on the level of abstraction at which you are viewing it.

 

He made multiple attempts to get Myrah alone for a few minutes but it was too much of a distraction in the haveli. This is one of the issues of being in a joint family. After a few futile attempts he started getting irritated with Myrah. He felt she was not putting in any effort to be alone with him. It was as if she was going with the flow. Enjoying the undivided attention her two Bhabhisas and Sunehri was giving her. Not to mention Dhruv, Koel and Saurabh who wanted to hear putppet stories from her. This annoyed him. Short of pulling her hand dragging her away like a cave man he had tried everything and failed. Dragging her around is not new to Rudra. From the time he can remember he has been doing that to Paro but then he was younger and not a father of a child. He was a Jallad and he used to act before thinking. He remembered the umpteen numbers of times he had pulled Paro to his room. Well time and Paro have changed him.

 

Finally on Saturday night after dinner while Myrah was still in the kitchen helping Maithili and Sunehri, while Dhruv was fast asleep and the rest of the household had already retired to their respective rooms – Rudra went to the terrace.  There were all the signs of an upcoming storm. It was windy and chill. He was recalling some of the nights he and Paro had slept on this rooftop, under one blanket, him troubling her with his “Chupthi Daadi” Her trying to twist his moustache and pulling each other’s legs - soon turning to playful foreplay - turning to something intense.  

 

It always started with one of them being miffed with the other and coming here to register the protest. It was almost a ritual with them. That the one who is upset will be here first. And then the other person has to follow and manaofy!! The ritual was limited to the venue and the sequence in which they should visit the venue and the final act.. 

 

Whatever happened in between was never a ritual. It was different everytime. The sweet whisperings, the feather touches, the longing, the intense looks, who was the hunter and the hunted, the twists, the turns, the songs, the dances, the push and the pull, the duration , locking of hands, eyes, legs, hearts, the intensity of the romance and passion, nok jhok, love bites, scratches........ Everything was unpredictable. The memories gave him shivers, Shivers of excitement. He has been missing having Paro in his hands let alone doing manmaani with her. He folded his hands and rubbed the forearms.

 

Right from the initial days it was Paro who came after him whenever he was in mental agony. And it was him who went to her when she was in physical pain. They always will seek the other out.

 

When Rudra took Mohini’s slap for Paro it was not the physical pain which hurt him. It was the sadness he felt at that time for Paro not being on the same side of him with regards to her opinion about Tejawat. Knowing that Paro who stood up for her Jija whom she has known for a few days, knowing the kind of deep love Paro is capable of made him sad. Sad that the way things are he will never be able to bask in her love. In spite of being angry with him she had sought him out that day. To apply the lep – the lep to his mind – in the pretext of the lep for his wound.





He had waited like a lion in his den. He was sure that the kind hearted person that Paro is will not be able to go to sleep till she could bring some relief to Rudra. To Rudra the Jallad who protected her from the slap. Rudra pretended to be asleep till she was very near him. Till she bent down and applied the paste with a trembling finger. The tremble that passed through him the moment her finger touched him made him open his eyes immediately. He had not planned to do that so fast. He had wanted to wait till she attended to his wound. Once he opened his eyes he could not just hold himself back. He caught hold of her hand. Flipped her and tossed her to the other side of the bed with him on top. So that he could gaze at her lovely eyes. Those eyes did not hold any love for him then. But he knew they had gratitude and he knew they had sadness for him. That will do. He wanted to see that for himself. He wanted to loose himself in her eyes and make her see him in close quarters.

 

The one time when he was mentally upset and Paro could not come to him consciously was in the BSD office, when he was upset by the words of the bereaving mother, mother of the soldier who was killed in the baraat confrontation.






Even at that time when he was broken down against the mirror and crying his heart out he felt some comfort after a while. As if he was being pacified. As if suddenly someone was healing him an passing on support and comfort. Only after a few minutes did he realize that the soothing feeling came from his hands joined to Paro’s across the mirror. She had unknowingly helped him through the grief even then. He was so startled at the discovery that he jerked away from the mirror. At the thought that he can get comfort from a beautiful woman.

 

The next time her touch affected him was in the BSD hospital. While he was still living his nightmare with open eyes Paro who was in her sleep called out to him. She was seeing the nightmare in her sleep and she cried out for help.




He sprang to his feet and was beside her within seconds. He cooed  “Shaant” multiple times. Held her hands and supported her head from hitting the cot. When it was not enough he put his entire body’s weight on her covering her her legs with his own and after a few minutes when she was at peace he was left wondering – whether he was her balm or she hers. The calmness and “sukoon” he felt was something the medicines could not give him.

 

Paro, what are you doing down there? I miss you. Don’t you realize that I am in pain? That I need you dear. That I need a moment to be with you, I need to touch you, hold you to get the strength from you, To cling to you to keep myself from going insane.

 

He looked at his watch. It was way past mid night. Myrah must have gone to sleep by now. He must have been standing and dreaming for a couple of hours.

 

“How did you know I am here ?” Rudra asked without turning. He had sensed her presence – sixth sense - before he smelt her and heard her footsteps. 

 

He smiled into the dark night. She remembered this. Where to find me. That is a small step towards happiness.

 

“How did you know it was me ?” Myrah asked.

 

“ I know “ Rudra whispered turning towards her. “ I always know”

 

“I don’t know” Myrah replied

 

“Kya ?” he queried

 

“I don’t know how I knew that you are here. I had gone to bed and even dozed off. Was woken up by a dream about someone waiting for me in the terrace. I kept my hand on the person. He turned and then I saw your face and I woke up. It was as if you came in my mind and told me to get here” He smiled listening to her.

 

Why is it that she remembers things only when she is sedated or half asleep? He wondered. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and hug her tightly. But he wanted to see whether she will make the first move, whether she will remember their ritual. He just turned back and stared into the sky. 

 

“Go to sleep Myrah. You look tired”

 

For almost a minute she did not say anything. He was afraid she will do as told and go back.

 

“Naaraz ho? Are you angry Rudra? That I did not come to you to spend time alone the whole day? I could not, you know. With so many people around it looked quite impossible to slip away“ She sounded a little apprehensive of his reaction. “I know I should have tried to slip away earlier. Maybe I should have tried harder but they were all so nice to me, showering me with affection. It was hard to push them away.”

 

Rudra pretended to be annoyed and turned away from her.

 

 “It is okay. I understand. It is not easy............” He stopped midway when he felt her hand on his upper arm. He waited with bated breath. Oh Paro........

 

“You know Rudra. You always say something which you don’t mean. Your face belies your words. I know you are angry with me“ She tugged his hand and turned him to face her.

 

Usually it is Paro who has difficulty in breathing when he is near. Whose voice goes guchud muchud when he touches her aAnd here he was tongue tied in front of his Paro. Waiting for the magic to unfold, waiting for Myrah to turn into Paro. He knew it was not possible for a miracle to happen overnight or during the night for that matter but atleast for the hour. For the present. Pal Bhar ke liye hi sahi. Only if she becomes his Paro.

 

“Forgive me. Please. I am ready to do anything you want me to. I’m ready for any punishment but forgive me please“

 

“Anything?” Rudra asked remembering the similar discussion years back in the aangan.

 

“Kuch Bhi” Myrah crooned. Did he imagine the change in her accent?

 

That was all the assurance he needed. He was thankful to God for giving him this moment. This repeat performance. He pulled her with more than necessary force and she tumbled into him. He enveloped her in his hands as he held her tight. As if by doing so he can bring back all her memories. As if he wanted nothing more in this world than be one with her. How much he has been missing this? This feeling of comfort. Of contentment. Which he could find only in Paro’s embrace. He slowly moved his head to her hair and inhaled deeply her scent. A heady sweet smell which always made him lose himself in her. He inhaled like a man who got locked in a box inhales the moment he is set free. A deep breath. If she were a bottle of perfume his inhalation would have consumed her fully. Such was the depth. This will do for now. Rudra thought. More than enough to see him through the coming days.

 

“You are forgiven. De Di Maafi” Rudra whispered against her ears.

 

When she replied her voice was filled with merriment, “Bas? That is all it takes? Your anger goes away so fast Rudra ?” She teased him and slowly moved her hands which were pressed against his chest and closed them around him. Now their hearts were beating in resonance. He could feel it. He pulled her further into him – if that was even possible.

 

He just could not stop now. Can he? Just like the river has to reach the ocean. Just like the rain has to pour down and seep in through the crevices in the rock. Just like the waves have to crash against the shore. This dialogue has to be completed. It has to reach it’s destination. Their dialogue.

 

“Panga Mat Le” he growled and could sense her shiver as an answer.

 

“I know. I know that I will repent.” She replied with anticipation brimming in her voice.

 

-

Quote: Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.

 

Chapter 19

RR through our eyes (Chapter 19)

 

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

Recap:  “Yes I can understand. Rudra Pratap Ranawat is synonymous with anger and outburst. But Myrah will come around. Don’t worry about that. After all she is Paro. And once her memory comes back everything will be alright “ Sunehri’s husband (Aman) put in words of comfort

 

“Haan. It is easier said than done. I wonder when everything will return to normal “ Rudra confided in the single soul who stood by him through thick and thin.

 

 

 

Now: Aman was still with BSD. And still in Birpur. Sunehri and him had got married a few years back. After the Shantanu fiasco it was not easy for Kakisa and Kakusa to trust a groom for Sunehri. Particularly for Kakusa it was as if he had lost faith in mankind. He could still not come to terms with the fact that somebody could put on such an act and win everybody’s trust in a family. And hurt his princess. Sunehri was the one closest to her father. Her brothers were much elder to her. Samrat was in his own world plagued with the taunts of his mother and trying to stand independent in this world. Whereas Sumer was nothing like his father. The only child of his who could bring happiness and sunshine into their family, the only person in the family who was spared Mohini’s sarcastic comments. The only one who had the courage to go and hug Rudra for the first time. Kakusa’s jigar ka tukda.  And Kakusa literally broke down the day Sunehri was hurt by Shantanu. And looking at his state Aman did not want to put forth his desire to marry her lest it gets declined then and there.

 

What happened in the following days was a nightmare. For everybody. And it was a few years later when Sunehri parents could still not decide on a groom for her that Aman decided to act. Aman who had seen only suffering and treachery in his job. Aman who had lost his parents in a young age. Who could also not have the luck to be with his sister for long. Who was a reserved person. Dedicated to his job. Aman knew they were not similar at all. She was a chirpy carefree immature girl. Whereas he has been mellowed down to the point of being a recluse by live’s hardships and the reality which he witnessed as part of BSD. Maybe himself and Sunehri are a mismatch. But he knew opposites attract. And he felt the attraction. May not be the one which poems and romantic novels talk about. May not be love at first sight. May not be the soul connection which very few have the luck to feel. But for him this will do. All Aman wanted was one happy soul to be with. A simple person who can lift his spirits. Be with him always. Loyal and supportive. Aman was not looking for a whirlwind romance or a love written in novels. He just wanted to be home everyday to a person who will allow him to be happy. A person who herself will be happy all the time. A person who has an infectious joy around her. Who else than Sunehri ? Inspite of being Mohini's daughter, inspite of seeing all the anger, hatred and sarcasm all her life - turned out to be the sunshine of the house. Who always had a smile for him. For everybody. Who wanted all around to live in harmony. Who never had a care about this world. Aman wanted to bring the smile back on her face. Which she lost after what Shantanu did.

 

Thus Aman who always had a soft corner for her came forward – rather timidly - with his proposal. To Rudra first. And Rudra was more than happy. And he took Kakusa into confidence. Having known Aman for years the decision was easy for Kakusa. It was not that easy to convince Mohini. But together they could. And what helped was Sunehri’s dream of marrying a Vardiwal. And Sunehri was more than happy. And so it was decided to arrange the wedding. The first celebration in the family which went into mourning the day they lost the purest of souls to the villain. A celebration which changed the look and feel of the haveli. A celebration which was such a joyous event for young Dhruv and Koel. And a year later they were blessed with a baby boy. Saurabh. A younger brother for the kids in the haveli. Ofcourse the family could meet them only once in a while. But it helped that they were confident that Sunehri was in the right hands. As Paro always says “Bhagya”. Sunehri’s Bhagya !!

 

Cutting to the present, Rudra had confided all his findings about Paro only in Aman. He could not tell his Bhabhisa. Not that she was not trustworthy. But it was difficult for her to keep the promise. If she knew Myrah is her Paro she will not be able to keep it to herself. She would have rushed to Myrah immediately and hugged her tight. Become quite emotional. And vVery soon she would have told Paro the entire truth and Rudra could not let that happen. He could not have told anybody else in the family. Not even Kakusa. He was not as close to anybody as Aman. And Aman for one will keep the secret till the end. So no worries in that front.

 

Being from BSD both of them had listed down all the findings and came to the same conclusion that Myrah is Paro. Her nightmares explained in the video messages, her behaviour when sedated, her loss of memory, her accident at the exact time of Paro’s all point to the truth. That Myrah is Paro. And Rudra was convinced. And Aman was almost sure though he still had some nagging questions in his mind. It is quite possible that Rudra had them too but Rudra interacted with Myrah personally. And he knew Parvathi better than anybody. And Aman believed in Rudra’s analysis and conclusion anyday than his own.

 

“Let us hope for the best Sir. Am sure once Myrah’s parents are here and they get to know you and Dhruv things will fall in place” Aman voiced his opinion. Aman still addressed him as Sir. Inspite of Rudra himself asking Aman to call him by name. Old habits die hard.

 

“Is there any update from the hospital about what happened seven years back ? I could not get any help from BSD to look into the same.” Aman sounded sad that he could not help

 

“That is fine Aman. I have already assigned one of my detectives onto the task a week back. But unfortunately he could not find anything yet. In the fire which happened in the BSD hospital two years back many documents were destroyed. He is still checking it out.” Rudra replied and then added ” My present concern is how to get through the wedding without any major debates and disagreements. This Sunday Myrah’s parents will be here. “

 

For once Aman could see Rudra thinking of how to impress somebody in his life, though he still did not put it in so many words. The Rudra he knows does not care what others think about him. He is a go getter. And a man with strong beliefs and convictions. And he does not mince words or try to please anybody. He can be the Jallad when it comes to taking what he wants.

 

But no one has any power over what time can achieve. Rudra has to make some changes to his attitude and behaviour since it is now about Parvathi. And the thought that Rudra is trying to woo her and her parents made Aman smile. And Rudra did not miss it. He knew the reason behind it. But decided to ignore the smile. And he went to Dhruv’s room to check on his homework.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Aman the sweet person that he is, decided to let the matter go. Did not pursue it. It was after so many years that he is seeing a not so brooding Rudra. Yes Rudra was worried about the impending meeting on Sunday. But he was at peace. Content. Happy if you can say it – though smile was a rare visitor to Rudra’s face always !!

 

The fact that Paro is alive and that Rudra could find her again. That destiny brought her to his haveli. That they are close to being together again has changed Rudra’s disposition a lot. And nobody was happier than Aman. It had pained him to see the person whom he admired and loved so much go through such pain. A person who has seen nothing but sadness , betrayal and contempt in his younger days.  It was heart wrenching to see Rudra lose something so precious in a matter of days. Rudra was lucky to get what was clearly out of bounds even in his wildest dreams – a chance to love and be loved by Paro. And just as he started enjoying the abundance of love bestowed on him by Paro – it was snatched away so cruelly. Aman himself felt the pain and spent many sleepless nights. He could not even imagine what Rudra was going through.

 

Aman was transported back to those dark days. The day Parvathi was attacked by Shantanu. How Rudra had rushed her to the hospital. How Aman had been by Rudra’s side the entire night and the next day. He still remembers waiting outside the operation theatre. Such was the stillness in the place that he could hear their hearts beating. Each breath taken. Death lurking in the corners made the atmosphere eerie. There were other patients also getting operated on the same day. So quite some people waiting outside the OR. But still the place was so silent. As if people were scared that the beloved of the first one to talk will be taken away by the God of death.

 

Death and prospective death force people to relook at their priorities. Make them reflect on their behaviour in the past. What they could have done right. Where they went wrong. What could have been better. And Rudra did the same sitting in that hospital corridor. Aman remembered how much guilt Rudra felt those hours. For not protecting Parvathi. For not treating her properly from the beginning. For making her go through the hate wedding. For pushing her away not once but multiple times. For testing her love. For erupting on her like a volcano at the drop of a hat. For blaming her for all the wrong things – starting from supporting Tejawat, to burning Dilsher’s room to leaking the photo to papers. Blamed her even for the right things she did – putting on an act to convince the NGO workers and requesting Singh Sir to give Rudra the job back. Tears flowed freely from Rudra’s eyes that night. Tears which did not help the situation. Tears which could not take the clock back. Tears which did nothing but kept flowing out.

 

Till the doctor came and delivered the shattering news. Then Rudra went still. Like a rock.

 

 

 

 

 

It is a well known fact that people go through four stages of grief.

• Denial
• Anger
• Depression
• Acceptance

 

For Rudra it was denial for the first few days. Even while leaving the place after setting the pyre on fire he had made a promise to Parvathi that he will wait for her – ever. As if she has just caught a bus to Birpur to see her Mamisa. And that she will be back after a day or two. He tried to remove all possible things which pointed to her departure. Literally scrubbed the floor clean himself. Put everything back in order the way Parvathi liked. Aman later came to know from Sunehri that he everyday arranged pillows and covered them with Parvathi’s dress , a blanket and hugged it telling himself and Dhruv that Maasa is sleeping and that we should not disturb her. Made religiously two plates for every meal and brought it to his room though in the end both the plates looked similar – untouched. He never allowed anybody else to wash his clothes. Every night after his bath he himself will do the chore and put them up for drying. Along with a set of Paro’s dress washed and squeezed dry. It was as if he was hoping that she will come back to help him with the mundane chores.

 

He started detesting full moons. And used to gaze at the half moons all the time. Adhoore Cheeson Mein Bhi .......It was as if Paro’s likes and dislikes have replaced his own. Every week he used to buy a new set of choodiyan for Paro. Taking great care that he selected the colours she did not have already. And some times Maithili could see some old broken bangles in their room. And the answer from Rudra when questioned was,” Stupid Paro. She never takes care of her bangles. Yesterday also she broke some. Now I need to buy a new set for her.”

 

 

 

 

 

Rudra never missed a single day in BSD. He acted as if nothing has happened. Will talk over his silent phone to his Paro at least twice a day. Used to get agitated in late evenings saying Parvathi will be waiting for him.

 

Then anger set in. After a couple of months. And that was that. For a very long time to come.  He immersed himself into work. All the time. Went relentlessly after Thakur’s men. Almost decimated them to a level that there was no chance left for Thakur to make a come back. Pursued the case against Shantanu to an extent that Rudra took a breather only after Shantanu was given life imprisonment. Except for catching Thakur everything was done by Rudra and BSD to stop all the terrorist activities.

 

This period also had him in depression in the nights. When he will drink himself to unconsciousness till the wee hours of the morning.  And then will roam around in the haveli like a Bhatakti Aatma. When he used to go and sit in the terrace for hours together. At the peak of the depression he will sing some old Hindi song - besura hi sahi. Hoping he can see Paro laugh. And then he can threaten to silence her by being so close to her that she finds it difficult to breathe. He will be in the room searching for the imaginary rat i- always magining Paro taking cover just behind him. And this routine would have continued all his life. But it was not meant to be. Bhagya of Dhruv. Else Dhruv would never have known his father’s love. News arrived on a fine morning three years back which changed Rudra’s life again. But this time for the better. A news which made him give up his job and start his own private security firm.

 

But still Rudra never reached the last stage of the grief. He was calm and composed. He was a much tamer version of his previous self. He did not drink to destruction. Lived for Dhruv. But he never accepted that Parvathi is no more. It was as if she was with him. There was no need to recreate her presence. She was with him invisible to others. He lived in his memories. Sweet ones clearly blocking out the bitter ones. Talked a lot about Paro to his Dhruv. Tried his best to make Parvathi real in Dhruv’s days through these anecdotes. It was as if Rudra knew she will come back to him – one day. And he waited patiently preparing Dhruv to recognise her then.

 

“Aman, aap yahan ho ? Everybody is waiting for you to start dinner. Come fast.” Aman was literally jolted out of his thoughts by Sunehri. His sweet innocent lively wife. It was his Bhagya that he got her in his life.

 

Dinner was fun – for the first time as far as he can remember. Even when Parvathi was around earlier atmosphere was quite tense in the haveli. Sunehri’s Maasa was not the same person as now. Never used to let any opportunity go to insult Maithili Bhabhisa. The change is her is so vast that it was difficult for Aman to believe it. They say seeing is believing. But even seeing it now for the first time did not convince him fully. But everybody else seems to go with the flow. And he decided to keep his opinions to himself.

 

The younger women sat down with the men and children. That was a first in this haveli. He looked up to see Rudra entering with Myrah. Ready to hold her lest she falls. The ever protector. Whose role is justified in this life by Parvathi returning as Myrah.

 

It gave Mythili a lot of pleasure to see the whole family together now. Too much pleasure that she immediately was scared and thought to herself, “Bhole Baaaba, Raksha Karna. Kisi Ki Nazar Na Lage Is Parivaar Ko.”

 

Chapter 18

RR through our eyes (Chapter 18)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

Mornings. One of the most talked about part of the 24 hours earth takes to rotate around the sun. It is said that every morning is a chance at a new day. But what mostly happens is that a child is as happy and playful every morning as he/she was the previous day. A hopeful person is hopeful in the morning. A coward continues to be afraid in the morning. A scheming person starts thinking of new plots to trick others.

What can then make a morning different ? A nightmare ? A cherished dream ? Some incident in the night ? Yes, all these can change one’s view of the morning.

Like the nightmare Myrah had. Not once but twice. The second time it was like dejavu. She got up. Tried moving her hand. Found it in the grip of Rudra’s hand still. And the other one connected to the IV. This time around the nightmare was vivid. And Myrah tried to free both her hands making Rudra awake. Took him a few seconds to adjust to the surroundings. “Tu theek hai ?” was his first question. The question did not register in Myrah’s mind, she was still lost in the memory of the nightmare. She looked blank. Rudra asked again, "Are you okay?”

“Yeah I am fine. Had a nightmare. I was in my bridal dress. And my hands were tied. Both of them. With a rope.” Myrah answered, her voice shaky. Fear was written all over her face but it escaped Rudra as he was focusing on her words.

Rudra became suddenly alert. Has Paro’s memory returned ? Is she trying to tease him with the way he dragged her after her wedding ? He could not help smiling.

Myrah noticed his smile. “I am terrified with this nightmare. What does that mean ? And why in the world are you smiling ? I am not joking, Rudra ” She was offended.

Rudra realised his folly. This was still Myrah. “I am sorry. I should not have smiled. How are you feeling now ? I am glad you are awake. “ He extended his hand to touch her hair.

Suddenly she remembered what happened last night. The way Rudra erupted when he came to know about the change of wedding plans. The angry look on his face. She flinched. And she moved away from his approaching hand. She was not ready to be near him– yet.

Rudra noticed the small movement she made. Wsa she annoyed with him for smiling at her ? He remembered the Jaipur trip when Paro was annoyed with him and refused to talk. He cannot let that happen now. He asked Myrah to look at him. And she did – slowly. And then he realised that she was afraid of him and not annoyed. Must be the way he shouted in the night. Gosh. He had completely forgotten about the incident.

“Myrah, Kaisi Ho ?”Bhabhisa came into the room before Rudra could talk further. And then it was raining visitors into the room. Everybody enquiring about Myrah and her health. Offering her coffee, food and what not. Taking care of her comfort.

He looked at the watch and realized it was 7 am. Time to get Dhruv dressed for school. Rudra had completely forgotten about Dhruv. As if to indicate that their minds were in sync Myrah asked, “Dhruv Kahaan Hai ? He did not sleep here yesterday. Where is he ?”

“Nothing to worry. He was with me. I have asked him to get ready for the school. He is not aware of your fainting. And I did not tell him. He will be here in sometime. Koel is also getting ready. Let me know if you need anything Myrah. I will be back after some time.” Maithili said just before leaving.

One by one everybody left except Rohit. “Myrah, relax. Everything will be alright. I talked to your father yesterday night. They have got the tickets and will be here on Sunday. You just chill and take rest. “

“Do you know they asked me to not start the wedding preparations will they reach here ? How unfair. How could Dad do this ? And Mummy sided with him. “ Myrah complained

“ I think it is the right thing to do. So much has happened in the last few days. They would want to be aware of all the details. Meet Rudra before proceeding. Don’t you think ? In my view you are the one who is unreasonable. They have not asked you to stop the wedding. Just to wait till they are here. And that is definitely reasonable.” Rohit made his position very clear.

Rudra was not sure whether he can trust Rohit or not. In spite of all the changes Paro brought in, Rudra was still wary of others. Not so easy for him to trust others. Is Rohit really as straightforward as he looks ? Or does he have an ulterior motive ?

Till then Myrah and Rohit were talking as if only both of them were present in the room. And Rudra was lost in his own thoughts till he realised that they had stopped talking and was looking at him now. Obviously one of them had asked him something.

“I'm sorry. Did you guys say something ?” he asked

“ Rudra, I was just asking for your opinion. About putting the wedding on hold till Uncle and Aunt are here.” Rohit put the question forward again.

Rudra could see that Myrah was watching him closely. Probably waiting for him to give a repeat performance of yesterday. Well, he had to show more constraint now.

“Of course. We should wait. When I heard it yesterday I was upset. But I realize that she is their only child and they are concerned. I agree with Rohit. We should wait. “ Rudra explained his changed stand calmly, his eyes holding Myrah's gaze, trying to tell her that he really meant his words.

Myrah was slightly relieved. Rudra's black anger, that had scared her so much last night, seemed to be gone ... for the moment. But was it only under control because so many people were present? She didn't know what to think. Rohit asked Myrah to call her parents as soon as she felt up to doing so. And he left to attend to some conference calls.

Leaving Rudra and Myrah behind. With their awkwardness weighing heavily between them. But before Rudra could initiate a conversation Dhruv and Koel barged into their room with their long set of questions. Followed by Bhabhisa again bringing Myrah’s breakfast. Sumer offered to drop the children to the school. Then it was Shatabdi’s turn to be with Myrah. Finally Rudra gave up. He decided to wait till they could be alone and undisturbed for some time, without the risk of one or the other family member dropping into the room unannounced.

In any case Rudra had to take care of some cases related to the security agency. So he made the calls from home and took a day off. While he was on his calls, Kakisa told him that Sunehri is coming with her family. She would reach by evening.

In the palace Thakur was up as usual. He went about his usual activities though he was looking forward to the visitor. And finally the person came. And updated him about the news. About how a ghost was sighted. At least the person saw somebody looking like Parvathi in Rudra’s haveli. And that too in the bridal dress the day before. The person also showed him a picture as proof.

Thakur could not believe his eyes. There was no way Parvathi was alive. Shantanu had killed her years back. Yes she was taken to the hospital and the doctors did operate on her. But she died on the operation table. Shantanu was arrested and given life imprisonment. Parvathi is no more. Is this just a humshakal ? What are the odds of the humshakal reaching Rudra’s haveli and to be dressed like Parvathi ? This indeed was a cause of worry for Thakur himself. The case against him had to be dismissed in the absence of any witness. The written statement of Parvathi was argued as one made under duress. At least his lawyer was able to convince the judge and get the case dismissed. This humshakal can cause problems for him. He need to keep a close watch on her. Need to find out if it is indeed another person or not. He rewarded the person well and demanded that he be kept updated of the developments in Rudra’s haveli.

Back in the Ranawat haveli, everyone got busy after lunch. Kakasa, Samrat and Sumer went off for their respective work, with orders from Mohini to return home early. Kakisa and Maithili were busy getting the guest room ready for Sunehri and her family, and Myrah was sent to her room with strict instructions to rest and not strain herself.


Rudra took the opportunity to snatch some alone time with Myrah. She had been visibly upset with him in the morning, after his anger of the previous evening, and then his smiling at her nightmare ... but she had relaxed slightly when he spoke calmly about postponing the wedding. He hated it when she was scared or nervous of him. It put a distance between them, a distance he didn't like. Paro had never been scared of Rudra, not after the initial few days. Quite the reverse, she had been the only one who could face him and his temper fearlessly. And Rudra didn't like it when Myrah was scared of him. He didn't like it at all. He wanted his brave, fiery Myrah back. His Paro back. And he wanted that distance between them gone. When he reached her room with her medicines, Myrah was feeling much better. She was up and about, putting things into order and tidying up. Her drip had been taken off, leaving a small white bandage on her wrist.


Rudra saw her wince as she bent her wrist to pick up something, and came into the room swiftly.

"Silly girl, can you not sit and rest for a while? You're not supposed to strain yourself. Doctor's orders."

She continued doing what she was doing, and didn't acknowledge either him or his words. That definitely got Rudra covering the distance between them in no time. “Are you trying to avoid me ?” His voice came just behind her. Myrah was startled. She turned slowly.

“No I am not avoiding you.” She answered without looking at him

“Here take the medicine.” He stretched his hand with the medicines. She took them without looking up at his face.

Rudra felt his anger building up again, and fought to control it.

“Why are you then not looking at me ? Are you angry that I smiled in the morning ?"

“Why should I be angry with you ?" She turned away from him, still upset, but Rudra pulled her back forcefully, holding her firmly by her upper arms.


"If you're not angry with me, then why are you not talking to me?"


She was silent. His hands relaxed their hold and one hand gently went up to cup her face.


"You know I don't like it when you don't talk to me. Tell me ... what's wrong? What did I do?"


She moved her head negatively, his soft voice affecting her without her wanting it to. Without any effort from her side, as if her mind acted involuntarily, she was softening, melting ... moving closer to him unknowingly. She turned her head away from the warmth in his eyes.


"Nothing, Rudra ... I just .. don't ... don't want to talk. Just leave me for a little while, Rudra."


'"But I'm not holding you, You're holding me." came his voice again, even softer, even closer, a whisper in her ear, and Myrah looked up sharply.

She saw that he was speaking the truth. Her hand had crept up to the hand that was cupping her face, and was holding his wrist. Tightly. Her Rudraksh, which Dhruv had given her, entangled in the brown beads of his own ... as though bound together into one.

 

 

When had she moved her hand? And what was this strange melting feeling inside her, at the look in his brown eyes, as they blazed down into hers? She felt hot and cold all over, shivering yet burning, every inch of her skin feeling alive, as he looked at her deeply, as though looking into her soul. Her face felt as though it was on fire, and she couldn't speak a word, her breath stuck somewhere in her throat.

Could he see what she was feeling? Could he sense how vulnerable, how raw, how needy she felt? Not an inch of their bodies were touching, except their hands, yet she could feel his nearness, his strength, his touch ... on every inch of her ... as though he was stamping her as his, with just his look.

"You hold me without even trying," he murmured, " and then you tell me not to hold on to you? I can't let you go ... you know that. My anger ... my anger is not at you ... it's never at you. It's because I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, Rudra," Myrah whispered. "I can't live without you either. I can't let you go."

"But you might have to let me go now," Rudra whispered even more softly, so close now, that his breath tickled her ear. She shook her head vigorously.

"No ... never!"

"Just for a little while," came that wicked voice again, this time with a smile in it. She looked up at him again, to see him looking at her seriously ... but with a glint in his eyes, that made her wary immediately.

"After all," he continued smoothly, "it would look very strange if we welcomed my younger sister and her husband in this position. Sunehri would, of course, be very happy ... she is very romantic ... but ... Kakisa ..."

Myrah left Rudra's hands sharply, as though she had been burnt.

"Rudra!" she gasped. "I'm upset and you're ... joking?!"

He caught her hands back immediately. Held both firmly, and looked at her, all smiles gone.

"No, I'm not joking," he said, quietly, seriously, his eyes boring deep into hers. "I meant what I said. I can never let you go. Not for a little while ... not now ... not ever."

 

She was drowning in his eyes and saved just in time by Shatabdi who walked in.

Time ticked by and before Rudra knew it was evening and Sunehri and her family were home. She took almost an hour complaining to everybody about her not being informed of Myrah’s visit and marriage plans with Rudra. A simple person that she is – it was enough to upset her that everybody forgot to inform her. Rudra was anyway looking forward to Sunehri’s visit. So he went down and made the small talk with her. Played with the kid for sometime. And then took them to Myrah’s room and introduced them. They knew Myrah looked like Paro. But still they were not prepared for the similarity to this extent.

 

After the two hours of visit Sunehri and Saurabh were taken care of by the ladies of the house and the children respectively. Rudra then asked Sunehri’s husband to follow him to the aangan.

“Why are you so upset ?” Sunehri’s husband asked Rudra.

“ Oh don’t remind me about it. You heard most of the story instead. What nobody knows is that Myrah had a call with her parents later when they asked her to put the wedding on hold till they reach the haveli. And when Myrah informed me about it I blew my top. I should not have. But there it is. And she could not take it. And she fainted. It was because of me that she fainted and not due to the overall stress as everybody assumes. Myrah is not like Paro. Paro was very strong mentally. Myrah is exactly the opposite. If she faints for just raising my voice what would she have done if she were in Paro’s place ? I need to very careful. Particularly when Myrah is around.” Rudra sounded worried

“Yes I can understand. Rudra Pratap Ranawat is synonymous with anger and outburst. But Myrah will come around. Don’t worry about that. After all she is Parvathi. And once her memory comes back everything will be alright “ Sunehri’s husband put in words of comfort

“Haan. It is easier said than done. I wonder when everything will return to normal “ Rudra confided in the single soul who stood by him through thick and thin. Aman.

Chapter 17

RR through our eyes (Chapter 17)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

 

Recap: Somewhere in the early morning hours, just before he slipped into sleep, Rudra could not help remembering how Myrah asked him “Aur Aap ?” the way Paro used to. Only if Myrah wakes up remembering she is Paro. Only if wishes came true..........He was reminded of the quote “Whisper your wish to a butterfly and it will fly upto heaven and make it come true “ Butterfly ? He was reminded of Paro’s titli. Where are you Rukmini ? Hear my wish for myself and Paro. For Paro to remember that I am her Rudra. Make it happen dear........

 

Now: Myrah was woken up from her deep slumber by the nightmare. A new one at that. She tried to move her hands – in response to what she saw in the sleep. But felt she could not move her right hand. She glanced towards the paln and saw somebody holding her hand in place. Looked up to see Rudra sitting by the side of her bed with his head on the bed. Sleeping. With his right hand on her right hand holding onto it with all his might. As if he was afraid she will leave him if he let go. His left hand was by the side of her pillow – as support for her head lest it shifts. The sight overwhelmed Myrah and she wanted to touch Rudra to bring peace – to herself and to him. She tried to move her right hand but could not. It was held in place by the drip connected to it..

Looking at the sleeping Rudra she could not imagine him getting so angry at the thought of their marriage postponement. Maybe he felt the need to be one with her the same way she felt it. A feeling which was new to her. As if she is drawn to him inspite of herself. A feeling of soul connect which she failed to explain to anybody else. Which made her behave out of character. With her own parents. In hind sight she knew she had no reason to shout at them for having to put the wedding on hold. All the reasons her Dad gave her valid from their point of view. Why then is she able to not put up with anybody putting Rudra down ? Why did it bother her so much that her father wanted Rudra to go out ? What is this inexplainable connection she feels ? Inspite of not knowing Rudra for more than a few days. Inspite of her being taken aback by his anger. Inspite of all that has happened why does she feel that she and Rudra are one , have been one for many many years ? And what do the nightmares mean ? Do they have anything to do with her past ? Or this connection to Rudra ?

Not getting any answers to the questions she tilted her head towards Rudra and closed her eyes. And slipped back into sleep. Hoping she will not see the nightmares again.

 

Once Rohit was back in his room he sat down and decided the next course of action. He had earlier called Myrah’s doctor about her condition. He was sure word will reach his and Myrah’s parents about her collapsing and the medical care she is going through. Before they hear it from the US doctor he has to call Myrah’s parents. Given a chance he would have refrained from speaking to them. He felt guilty. Felt that he let them down. And knew he will not be able to meet their eyes. Best is to give them a phone call rather than skype. And then he needed to talk to somebody for assurance. Assurance that he is doing the right thing. He needs to call his Dad.

Rohit dialled Rajeev’s number and briefed him about Myrah. Rajeev who was angry to hear Rohit’s voice initially toned down and almost sounded depressed when he learnt about Myrah. “How is she now Rohit ? Can I talk to her ? I made a mistake. I should not have shouted at her. Am sure this whole problem was because of me. How am I ever going to forgive myself ? Rohit, please be with her. Can you get her on skype with me ? Will she be able to talk ?”

With Rudra sitting next to Myrah it was not wise to have a video call even if Myrah was awake. Emotions are running high all around. Best is to let everybody and everything settle down. Nothing wrong in lying to achieve peace. “Myrah is asleep. Under sedatives. Doctor has advised us to not disturb her. And network is not working here. I will wait till tomorrow morning – maybe even afternoon. Once she is up and a little better I will get her to call you, Uncle. There is nothing to worry. Everything is under control. I even consulted the doctor in NewYork. Got the medication cleared by him. All is well. And please do not blame yourself. Myrah is under stress for some days now. Maybe it is taking the toll now. So please relax. I will be here till tomorrow evening and will update you about the status”

“Rohit, we have booked our tickets. Me and Poonam. Will be reaching there by Sunday. Postpone your ticket please. Would like you to be around when we come there.”

“Uncle, but I have some important meetings lined up........”

“Rohit, please. It is a request. “

He could not come up with another excuse. He did not want to go against Rajeev Uncle’s wishes. Rohit agreed. Inspite of knowing things are going to be difficult for him. The next five days and also after that.

“And Rohit. One more thing. Myrah has agreed to not start the wedding rituals till we reach there. In her condition now please make sure she does not take stress. Put her at ease. You are her best friend. You know how to handle her. But still I am requesting you to take extra care.  See you on Sunday”

After that Rohit had one of his longest calls with his Dad. It was almost a relief to discuss freely with somebody about all the things which he had kept bottled up all these days. To be comforted by his Dad that he is doing the right thing.

That he could not have done anything better for Myrah and her happiness.

That it was right to push Myrah to get married in a day to make realize her feeling for Rudra.

That Rohit did the right thing to goad Rudra to confess to Myrah during their drinking session.

That it is right now to hold the fort till the Mehras reach there. So that all of them can be at peace. After all Myrah is family. Agreed she is comfortable with the Ranawat family and loves Rudra. But Rohit has to be there by her side till Sunday.

“Are you okay, son ? How is your heart taking all these developments ?” was his father’s final question. And he replied about his confusion. About not being sure whether what he feels for Myrah is real love. Or whether what Rudra feels is. The confusion about whether Rudra is the right man for her.

And this went on for another 10 minutes. And by the end of it he was calm. And he realised how important it is for parents to understand their children  and to work with them , to stand by their side through tough times. Hope Rajeev Uncle will do the same with Myrah.

Kakusa could sense the restlessness in Mohini. She was tossing around. Not able to sleep. Finally he asked her. “Mohini, ab kya hogaya ? Why are you not able to sleep ?”

“Something does not add up. About Myrah. She is supposed to be the only child of rich parents. And came here to marry Rohit. Inspite of the wedding date being rushed her parents or his parents did not turn up. Kaise log Hai yeh ?”

If it was the earlier Mohini, Kakusa could have given a sarcastic reply. But not to the redeemed one who is sitting in front of him. There are times when he finds it difficult to still believe that she has changed for good. But then he was ready to go with the flow and accept it till he is proven wrong.

“Theek Hai Na Mohini. They all wanted the children to get married. And they are more open minded probably than us”

“What has open mindedness got to do with this ? I will never allow Sunehri to get married in our absence. Will you ?”

“Well no. But let us not worry about all that now. Let us go to sleep. We have to start preparations for Rudra Banna’s wedding from tomorrow”

“That is another thing I am not able to understand. How did Myrah fall for Rudra so fast ? What is with Rudra that first Paro confesses her love to him and now Myrah ? I could see love in Myrah’s eyes no doubt. And based on that I did encourage her to listen to her heart. But still what can a girl like her who has everything see in Rudra ? I could understand Paro falling for Rudra her protector. But this ........”

“ Mohini, don’t make your brain work overtime. Go to sleep”

“And one more thing........why did” Mohini started the next question

“Mohini, Bas. Aaj Ke liye Bahut ho gaya. So Jao” Kakusa closed his eyes leaving Mohini with a question about whether she really heard Rudra calling out Paro’s name sometime back. Or whether she imagined it. Could it be that Rudra is marrying Myrah only because she looks like Paro ? If that is the case Myrah’s mausam is about to go horrible.

Though these questions bothered Mohini she managed to catch up on lost sleep only to be woken up from the noise of glass falling to the floor. As usual Kakusa got up to drink water and dropped the glass. So much for catching up on lost sleep. And it irritated her no end that Kakusa went back to sleep almost immediately.

The children (all three of them ) slept through out the night. Without being aware of what happened with Myrah. Childhood has its moments. And deep sleep is one of the blessings

Deep Sleep can also come to a few blessed adults. Like Samrat and Shatabdi. Both simpletons who are carefree and who are not too overly worried about anything in life. At least Samrat woke up during the doctor’s visit. Shatabdi was so lost in her sleep that she did not even realize that Sumer was downstairs with others during the doctor’s visit.

 





 

 


 

Somewhere in a far off place in a castle in a dilapidated state, a mobile phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello .." The voice on the other side of the line was filled with fear. "Thakursa, buri khabar hai"

“Haan Bolo” Thakur’s voice vibrated over the phone line. Had the same aristocratic ring to it. The kind of confidence which only power and money can bring back.

“I cannot say it over the phone. Need to meet you in person. My line might be tapped”

“Okay then why the hell did you call me in the night ? Come tomorrow morning to meet me at my palace.”

“At your palace ? I thought you were in hiding still” the person on the phone was surprised with this information

“Hiding ? Don’t you read the papers or watch TV ? I am very much living in my palace.  Currently I am outside. But will reach there by 10am tomorrow. Meet me there. You have been to the place. So I hope you do not need directions”

“Haan. I know the place and I will be there” the line got disconnected

Stupid people. Never keep themselves updated with what is happening around them. Always live in their own shells. Thanks to BSD he went through a lot of trouble years back and had to be hiding for a few months. But God was with him. His witness being murdered was the best thing which happened in his life. And the case against him could not be proven. Fools, he thought, are in abundance everywhere. Who could never prove anything against him. Paro’s death was like hitting two mangoes with one stone. The only witness against him was gone now. And Rudra quit BSD. Singh could never find another officer as relentless as Rudra to pursue Thakur’s case. And he was back in his palace. With his old set of people - trading arms and setting up weddings. Life was back to normal. Ah yes, with just one minor deterrent. Mala was no longer with him. She had turned against him. Deserted him and finally when he was in hiding itself she passed away. Was okay in one way. Otherwise he would have had to kill her for being disloyal. He still had her life size photos adorning his palace as a reminder of the one (and only one) mistake he made in his entire life. Of trusting a woman and expecting her to be on his side till the end. Well, lesson learnt. Class dismissed. Now onto more exciting things in life.

It was a long time since Tejawat had talked to the person on the phone. A person with ties to Rudra Pratap Ranawat.

Rudra Pratap Ranawat - A name which he will hate till the end of his life. A name which he did not hear for the last five years from anybody. A name which he kept remembering every night in spite of that. Wonder what is brewing.

 

Precap: “Shaadi ? Hamare Ghar Mein ? Aapne humein Pehle kyon nahin bataya ? Bhabhisa ne bhi nahin kaha..All of you do not consider me as part of your family now. This is very unfair.” Sunehri was quite upset with her mother.