Chapter 13

Rudra saw their faces for the first time. Rajeev Mehra and Poonam Mehra.

It looked as if being part of America has not touched them in anyway.  They looked quite Indian. Doting parents of Myrah. There was a warmth in their eyes when they were talking to Myrah. Rudra was still standing away from the laptop. He heard Rajeev Mehra asking,” Where is your boy ?” Rudra was surprised that the Mehras wanted to see Dhruv first. Dhruv must be fast asleep by now. The children were so exhausted after all the drama earlier in the day. Maybe Rajeev Mehra did not remember the time difference between USA and India. Hence his interest to see Dhruv at this point of time. He was about to voice his hesitation to wake Dhruv up in the middle of the night when Myrah came near him and pulled his hand and took him near the laptop.

“Here Dad, this is Rudra.” It took Rudra a couple of minutes to register that Myrah’s father had addressed Rudra himself as the “boy”. And he was caught unawares and could only mumble a feeble “Namaste” to the Mehras. Then Rudra saw the change in expression. In Rajeev’s face. There was clear unhappiness in his face. A subtle change for any normal person to observe. But for the ex-Major who was taught to read face expressions – it was enough. Clearly Mr Mehra was not happy with what he saw on his monitor. “Hello” – Rajeev responded rather curtly.

“Hello Beta” came the joyous reply from Myrah’s mom. No dislike, no disapproval. Only acceptance. Half the battle is won, thought Rudra.

“Rudra, these are my parents. The dashing Rajeev Mehra and the beautiful Poonam Mehra. The beeeeeeessssssssssst parents in this whole world.“ said Myrah happily stretching her hands to indicate the world. Her world.

 

Rudra could see a little bit of apprehension on Myrah’s face. About how this first meeting will go. And that made Rudra a little nervous too. Rudra of the past was never bothered about creating a good impression on anybody. But now he is a changed man. And his Paro and their love are at stake. He did not want to start on a wrong foot with Myrah’s parents.

“Hello Sir. Hello Madam” Rudra mumbled again. His BSD circle always made him address strangers as Sir and Madam. “ What rubbish. Beta, call us Mom and Dad. We are not your clients.” pat came Poonam Mehra’s reply. “ Haan Rudra. They are going to be your parents too.”

“Haan. Par.......” Rudra was not sure what to say. Mom and Dad ? Kaise ? Pehle Kisiko bhi Aise Angrezi Mein..

Myrah could sense his hesitation. Maybe he is not happy with the English words. “ What do you call parents ? Haan Baapusa and Maasa. You can call them that.” Myrah suggested

“OK” Rudra agreed. He just wanted to get over this addressing procedures. If the starting itself is so lengthy how is he going to survive the knowing them and mingling with them part ?

Rudra could not help remembering the way he first met Paro’s only relative. Her Mamisa. In the middle of a big crowd in the village while he dragged Paro and taunted and goaded Mamisa to identify Paro. So that he could find Paro guilty by association !!

 

Chapter 12

 

Rudra’s POV

 

We need to start the wedding preparations now, Myrah. Though you are my legally wedded wife. In a way it will be good to take you through a dream wedding than the one I put you though the last time. Thank GOD for small mercies.

So we move inside the haveli. Rohit comes downstairs. He has already changed out of his sherwani into his usual T shirt and jeans. He smiles at Myrah reassuringly, and I feel that sudden pang of jealousy again. Rohit has been a very good friend to my Paro for the last seven years. She has shared things with him that I will never know about. He can read her feelings in her eyes, he can feel her emotions.

But no, I have no reason to feel jealous, I should not feel jealous. Paro is mine. She fell in love with me all over again, not even knowing who she is, even after having changed so much. She lived away for the last seven years, she learned so much, she changed from my loving, gentle Paro to fiery, feisty Myrah, who is capable of anything. It’s as though she took a new birth. Yet she never fell in love with Rohit all these years. She fell in love with me only. She came back to India after so many years, and she fell in love with me, not knowing we were already married. This means that we – she and I – are meant to be. Always. For this birth and through the next seven births.

What did Paro always say to me? Destiny, Major Saab. From the time we met as children, you were meant for me and I was meant for you.

Paro was right. She always is.

So if she smiles at Rohit, it doesn’t matter. Paro has enough love in her heart for the world. While for me … for me, my world is Paro and only Paro. And of course Dhruv, my jigar ka tukda, my ansh, the part of me who carries Paro inside him too.

But why is Myrah talking to Rohit so seriously? What are they discussing? Damn my family, they are all talking at the tops of their voices, and Dhruv chooses this moment to tug at my shirt with a thousand questions on whether Myrah will really be his mummy and live with us for ever and ever. I can’t even join their conversation, or hear anything they’re saying … I have to answer him, as Myrah is too busy talking to Rohit.

What are they talking about?

The scene – as it is.

The pandit was looking more and more confused at the change of bridegroom and was becoming noticeably irritated at the delay in the proceedings. He interrupted the loud discussions among the Ranawats with annoyance in his tone.

‘Yajmaan, what is going on here? The mahurat is long gone, and I have other ceremonies to perform. Is there going to be a wedding here or not?’  

 ‘Yes,’ said Rudra loudly, just as Myrah equally loudly, said ‘No.’

Rudra glared at her.

‘Myrah?! You can’t change your mind again!’

Myrah smiled at him.

‘I haven’t changed my mind at all, Rudra. I’ve just been talking to Rohit. He spoke to my parents in the meantime, and they are obviously very upset at the change in plan. It is only fair that I talk to them and put them at ease. Get their blessings at least over skype. So we will have to wait.’

She turned to the panditji and spoke with her usual charming smile, which calmed him down completely.

‘I’m sorry to waste your time, panditji. There will be no wedding for now. But rest assured we will be calling you again very soon. Do accept our apologies. You must have understood the circumstances so please forgive us.’

The pandit taken care of and safely dispatched, Myrah turned to Rudra.

‘Rohit says my parents would like to speak to you. They are waiting on Skype.’

Rudra wasn’t very sure what Skype was, but he agreed. 

Myrah, Rohit and Rudra went to Myrah’s room, and Rohit connected to Myrah’s parents. Between Myrah and Rohit, they spoke to her parents, who were visibly upset at the change in plans, and even more so, at the change in bridegroom. Myrah and Rohit took turns at talking to them, trying to convince them, and Rudra sat in a corner and listened to the conversation. Again he felt the feeling he had had earlier, of feeling left out in this new world that Myrah lived in.

Not Myrah. Paro. His Paro. He had to keep reminding hmself that this modern laughing, confident girl was really his Paro. And that she loved him, and he loved her. 

Chapter 11

RR through our eyes (Chapter 11)

From Rudra’s POV –

God also has strange ways of teaching us lessons. But he also shows us the way out. And I am hoping that he shows me a way out of this mess which I created – a mess I created then by convincing you, Paro, to break your promise and the one I created now by not able to convince you,Paro, to break your promise.

But I know the extent of love you feel for me as Myrah. God himself made me realize this when you pushed me out of the danger which was going to crash down on me. The way you threw yourself on me and went crazy with worry was enough to make me understand that though you may not remember your past. You may not have belief in my love like Paro. But you will love me just the same way.

 

In spite of all this you were not ready to call off your wedding with Rohit. You were still adamant to not hurt him. Rohit is not as clueless as you think Myrah. He had got your video message. He was just goading me to express my love to you – by proposing to you knowing very well that I was around. By asking me very relevant questions while I was acting drunk and then walking out at the right time so that I could confess to you. By advancing the wedding date to tomorrow so that you will realize your love for me and agree to cancel the wedding. He knew this all along. He told me yesterday once you ran to you room after saving me from the chandelier. He has also informed his and your parents quite some time back. Hence the absence of all of them. How did you miss this point Myrah ? You know him so well. How did you not know that he will never go against your wish ? He just wants you to confess it in person to him. He wants to make sure you take the right step. On your own. He clearly also let me know that he will never let this marriage happen – if turns out that you still decide to go ahead with it. He is a true friend Myrah. I have also told him everything except the fact that you are Paro. He also has not seen your earlier photos. I was not sure whether he will believe me if he had seen them. So I decided to keep quiet on that part.

 

Between the two of us we decided that it is better that I leave the haveli so that I do not put further pressure on you. Please come around for me Myrah. I have changed. I am not the old Rudra either. Did I not take the step and confess my love to you ? Not once but twice ? Did I not leave the letter for you so that you will miss me ? Did I not make you again feel how you will manage without me when I picked up your lehenga ? Did I not come to you in the night and run my hands in your hair ? And that chain Paro. Hope you like it and have a faint remembrance. This is the one I had wanted to buy for you along with the butterfly earrings. The earrings which you would like and this one from my side. But I never gave you this gift due to all the drama which happened that Karvachauth. I knew you had seen this gift as I saw the wrapper opened much later. After you left. Hope you remember the chain.

More than everything I hope God helps me here. Makes you cancel your wedding with Rohit. At least you agree to stay back with me and Dhruv.

I am now driving away from you Paro. And I have your Rudraksh with me. I failed you Paro. You wanted me to pursue you and find love and keep you. I tried but I failed. Now isn’t it fair that you also do your bit ? And stay back ? What if you don’t succumb to your heart ? And decide to go ahead with the wedding. But Rohit will stop it. He promised. I wonder whether I can trust him. Did I make a grave mistake ? By believing him and leaving you behind ? You haven’t even called me yet. Oh what have I done ? Paro tere liye, I have to come back. I cannot just wait anymore for you.

Rohit’s POV

How much more time should I put up with this charade ? To act as if none of my senses are working ?

As if I have not seen Rudra while proposing to Myrah

As if I did not plan the entire act

As if I did not goad Rudra to talk about his pain and love

As if I got a call when I knew very well Rudra will confess

As if I never saw the concern and love Myrah felt for Rudra

Myrah, when will you come running to me to repeat the lines you left for me in the video message ? Why are you still hesitating ? I want to just hear it from you babe. So that I can be sure this is what you want. That you want to marry Rudra.

You know I already had a long discussion with Rudra. I am convinced that he loves you. From the bottom of his heart. So please Myrah realize your own love for him and cancel our wedding. I have promised your parents and mine that I will never make you do anything against your wish. Please do not make me cancel the wedding. Do it yourself. For your sake. For Rudra’s. And mine.

And here you are. Thank God. Myrah, I am fine. Please go after your love. Bring him back and get married to him. I wish you all the best. I will remain your friend always. Your best friend.

The only thing I do not understand is how did Rudra get those edited pictures of yours ? With him. Well maybe love makes people do strange things.

From Rudra’s POV –

Oh Myrah. Why are you running out like that and straight into my car. Tumhe Kuch Ho Jaata To. Oh my love. Why are you crying ? I have no intention of letting you go. Never will. Shhhhh, see I have come back for you. You don’t have to tell me why you stopped the wedding. I know. I know that you love me. And I love you too. Dhruv, this is not Myrah. This is your mummy. And that is the only thing I can tell you now. The rudraksh is finally back where it belongs. Paro, we will be together. Always. You , me and Dhruv.

We need to start the wedding preparations now Myrah. Though you are my legally wedded wife. In a way it will be good to take you through a dream wedding than the one I put you through last time. Thank GOD for small mercies.

 

(to be continued..........)

Chapter 10

RR through my eyes (Chapter 10)
 
From Rudra's POV -
My heart had already broken into pieces seven years back Paro. Then you came back. When you declared your love for me (you were always the first to take the initiative) I did not know you were my Paro. And I turned you down. History is repeating itself. First time around when you proposed to me in front of everybody and told me you are the sweet caring girl of my childhood - I did not take it seriously. As Myrah when you confessed your love - again I let it go. Shouted at you and turned you down. Preached about my unwavering love for Paro without realizing you were standing there in front of me. Thank GOD for directing me towards you handycam and thus towards the truth. And then I debated in my mind a lot about waiting for you to remember your past. But time is running out. And you have now put pressure on me by announcing your wedding. Come what may, I cannot let you go Paro. As Paro you would have understood my mind  by just looking at me. You have changed now. You want everything put across in words. Not just actions. Fine whatever it takes. I cannot just live without you.


How can I make you understand the dejavu feeling I had when you got hurt in your forehead and I rubbed the blood into your Maang ? How can I explain to you that at that moment when I told ," Maine Kaha Tha Na Sambhal Kar " I was referring to the many times I told you in the past to be careful. I cannot see you in getting hurt. Paro. And I have to confess my love to you.


And in the night when I came out and saw the decorated corridors I was immediately taken back to the day I put the mangal sutra around your neck. Do you know I had created snow also for you. I was so lost in the thoughts that I almost missed Rohit coming out. My heart which was just getting healed was completely shattered when I saw him propose to you and when you accepted it. It hurts more when the body part which is already injured gets hurt again. I was miserable to the core. I just cannot wait anymore. I have to tell you that I love you.


What better way than to show as if I am drunk and then to use the opportunity to steal a dance and confess. Did you really think I was drunk ? This was last opportunity to tell you. How can I take any risk and get drunk ? What if I blurt out something about our past or call you Paro. Won't that be enough for you to be hating me ? I am in love with my life. Yess. What I forgot to add is that Paro , you are my life. And I confessed to you my dear. Put it in words. Words which you were waiting to hear. To address you as just Myrah. You know how many times I called out your present name ? It is as if I am learning it , by hearting it like a school kid. So that I never forget it. Ever. Even if you wake me up from my sleep. Shakespeare easily asked "What is in a name ? " Little does he know my plight. Name is everything Myrah. Myrah. Oh my Myrah...And I took great care to only talk about the present.  To call "Kuch Na Kaho" as our song. Whereas I know very well our song is Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Let me tell you - it was not easy. To not remember the past. When you were so close. When I can only think of your Habbad Dabbad. But it can wait. We will have time for that. And in spite of my passionate declaration ( we never had any problem with the passion part - right ? We two had to just be close) you pushed me away ? Maybe you thought I will forget everything in the morning. So I reiterated the feelings again. In broad daylight. Did I not ? At least this time you believed me.  But you told me your heart does not beat for me. Do you know what it did to me ? I know you lied. But still it hurt.


"Chodke Chali Jaogi Mujhe ? Jee Paogi Tum ? " when I asked you that I was taken back to our conversation in the railway station. Remember I asked you the same that day. When I held out my hand to you now and asked you to say just yes once - I was standing in the haveli physically. But mentally I was in the railway track stretching my hand out asking you to promise that you will never leave me on your own ever. I am sure you would never have left me if you had not lost all your memory. Just say yes Myrah. I will make everything okay for you. I will teach you all about love the way you taught me earlier. Come what may I will never let you down. Our roles will be reversed going forward but we will be together. Just say yes dammit.


But you walked away citing friendship and promise as reason. Are you reminding me that you were taken away from me because of the promise you made ?


God also has strange ways of teaching us lessons. But he also shows us the way out. And I am hoping that he shows me a way out of this mess which I created - a mess I created then by convincing you to break your promise and the one I created now by not able to convince you to break your promise.
 
 (to be continued ...)
 
 
 

Chapter 9

RR through my eyes (Chapter 9)
From Rudra's POV -
My intention was not to make you cry. What the hell have I done ? How can I ever make you sad ? I am so sorry for shouting at you, Paro. You know very well that I get angry so fast. You had even got used to it. After the initial days you very nicely started ignoring my anger. Have you forgotten that as well ? Why are your eyes filled with tears now ? Main Gussa Nahin Hoon Paro. Main Aisa Hi Hoon. Normal Hoon. Tumhe toh Pata Hai Na. Why are you then crying ? Can I hug you and make it okay ? That Rohit must be lurking around. I am sure he will become more suspicious if I do that. I left the kerchief for you. With the RPR which was sewn on it by you. I can see that you are smiling looking at it. Are you smiling because you remember the kerchief ? Or are you smiling because of me leaving it behind ?


No, you do not remember anything. Sad. You are now more worried about Bhabhisa. Whether they will be fine. You kept on worring till Kakisa accepted the baby. You are so selfless. That is one thing you have not forgotten. And now I can see you walking away. Why Paro ? And you say it is because it is not correct to be in their middle when the family is united ? Aren't you the one who united them ? United our family ? Always ? The one who stopped Kakisa from going away after Maasa came back. The one who welcomed Shatabdi when no one stayed back for Grihapravesh. The one who brought peace between me and my Maasa. And you have now come back. To make our family complete. Thank Bholenath for bringing you back to me. Else I would not have been able to find you by myself. And now after all that you have done for me and my family you want to just walk away ? And youthink we have given you love without expextations ? What is it that you have showered on all of us ? As Paro first and then now as Myrah ? Oh dear, please do not start crying again. Let me wipe your tears away. I am still holding onto the truth and acting out this play so that you can be happy and chirpy as you are. So that not even one tear comes out of your eyes. Please stop. Varna Sambhaal Nahin Paaoonga Paro. Na Tujhe Na Apne Aapko. As usual you are holding onto my Rudraksha. Kuch  Yaad Aaya Paro ?


Why are you moving away ? Please don't. It feels like a part of my heart is breaking away. Especially when you go away crying.




Bhabhisa can see through my emotions clearly. She can see the love I have for you. But there is no way can I tell her anything. If she learns the truth, she will not be able to hide it from you. I had to tell her a lie - that I can manage even if you get married and go away. God please please forgive me for all these lies.


Bhabhisa is so simple. She is ever ready to forget and forgive. And she has already forgiven Kakisa. But I have not Paro. I know in my mind you have not either. That is one of the reasons you walked away from the place. You are happy for Bhabhisa that Kakisa came around. But we both can never put it behind us - all the atrocities she did. We both still suspect her for being responsible for being so cruel to us and my parents. I still do not believe Sumer had anything to do with the laddoo incident. Nor have we given a clean chit to Kakisa for the fire incident. She was solely responsible for bringing Laila in. That much I am sure. Anyway I hope you never fall prey to her in the future.


You are such a child at heart. The way you play with Dhruv and Koel. Running around the sofas. And you lost the game  because I did not hold you back. Because I was dreaming of carrying you around and hugging you and Dhruv. You asked me then , "Rudra, mujhe Jaane kyon diya ?"


In real life as Myrah you ask me to not let you go. And then you come in my dream as Paro and ask me to let you go. Say Paro is Sati and Myrah is Parvati. Whatever. I am not now interested in finding a parallel with the Gods. Why are you asking me to find love ? What are you trying to do to me ? Or is it my mind which is trying to tell me something. That I should not withhold display of love. That I should not keep waiting for Paro to emerge from you. That I should just accept you as you are today and move on ? But didn't you tell me in Jaipur that you will keep playing "Chor police " with me. That you will ask me about the hurt on my forehead. And I should ask you about the hurt in your heart. And that I should really work hard to understand you. Didn't you ask me to get into your heart after removing my shoes ?


Did you equate my preconceived notions to my shoes then ? That I should not expect you to be back as Paro. That I should just understand the spirit and soul in you. Maybe I should never put pressure on you to remember things. Maybe we should start building them back again together.


Haven't we already relived many of our small incidents together ? From protecting you from kidnappers, to your kiss to your calling me MajorSaab. Should I be content with this and build on it ? Or should I still crave for the day you will become my Paro. My Paro... Oh dear. Though it was a dream , it was so good to see you. To have you support my head when I was about to fall asleep. The glow on your face. The love in your eyes. The magnet of Paro to whom I got attracted. The selfless person that you are. Am I trying to revive your memories for my selfishness ? Or for your own good ?  Or is it for both of us ?


Should I not be around for your wedding so that you will make the right decision of not getting married to Rohit ? Or should I stop the wedding ? What if I let you make the call and you marry Rohit ? Why am I just feeling as if I am stranded in the middle of the ocean - alone - with no where to go ? Why do I feel like the person who has no water to drink though he  is in the middle of the ocean ?


PARO - please remember your Major Saab and come back to me. Please. Put me out of this misery.
 
 (to be continued ...)

Chapter 8

RR through my eyes (Chapter 8)
From Rudra's POV -


Finally Maithili Bhabhisa got what she has been waiting for all these years. A baby of her own and who was accepted by Kakisa. The former could have happened anytime Bhabhisa wanted. If only she had been more forceful. But the latter was so difficult to achieve. Paro had tried many times in the past. My Paro. Always caring for the ones she love. And her jija was somewhere at the top of the list - next to Dhruv and him. Paro could not help her Jija seven years back. But now in her new avatar she was able to. As Myrah, she was more forceful and of course influential. The worldly ways taught her that many things can be bought and twisted with the help of money sitting at home. And get things done even in the night. I need to keep the names separate even in my mind. Lest I forget and call my beloved Paro now. Already she was ready to leave when she saw Paro's face. Now Myrah thinks I hate her. Nothing can be further from the truth. How can you forget what I told when I gave you the mangalsutra ? I am not good with words. But didn't I tell you , "Main tu Hamesha ?" How can you just forget me ? Only if you remember anything about me and Dhruv when you are awake. I could have built on it and made you remember more. But how do I go about the memory now ? If you remember something only when you are drunk or in sedation and if you forget it later ? How in the world can I make you realize that you are indeed Paro ?


I was so mesmerized by your beauty when you came down that day looking like an orange flame.. Here I was trying to feed Dhruv a burnt roti and there you were standing so cheerful, so beautiful...reminding me of all that I have missed all these years. Shame on me. Our hungry son was sitting refusing to eat and all I could think of at that moment was to take you in my arms. To pull you forcefully towards me. To feel every inch of your body. To feed my own hunger. If you knew about my inner thoughts I am sure you will call me Jallad again !!


I was so sad when Rohit announced that you are going on a dinner date. Before I could protest he thankfully announced that I can tag along. There was no way I was allowing you to go out with another person.


I was looking for some sign of recognition in your eyes when you volunteered to make food for Dhruv. Any glint , any hint. Myrah. Please remember something. Our lives could be so much better only if you could remember anything.


And what I saw in the kitchen a few minutes later pierced my heart Myrah. The comfort level you shared with Rohit. The way you guys joked and worked together to make dinner for Dhruv. How am I ever going to come to terms with this Myrah ? I am not so big hearted like you were with regard to Laila. And I would have had no reasons to worry or feel jealous if you were remembering our past. But with this amnesia and your closeness with Rohit, how can I not feel the jealousy ? And I do not know this Rohit at all. Sometimes I think he is a fool. Not to see the tension between us. But then he surprised me one night and asked me straight whether he has any reason to worry about you and me. Reason to worry ? I wanted to tell him that there is no reason at all to worry. Because he is just not going to be married to you Myrah. I will never ever allow that to happen. I have suffered your separation all these years. I saw your lifeless body seven years back. My brain told me to believe it. But my mind could never listen to it. I could never accept that you have left me and gone. You always keep your word Paro. And you told me in the railway station when I was standing in the middle of the tracks that you will never leave me. You promised - remember ? And I believed you. I believed that you will come back one day. When God felt that I have suffered enough he will bring you back. And my heart was right. Here you are. But how can I say all this to Rohit ? I have no clue what kind of person he is. Is he a genuine caring friend of yours ? Is her after your money ? How can a person who never turned up even after you were kidnapped have any kind of concern for you ? I do not see any love in his eyes for you. Or for that matter any in your eyes for him. You two are comfortable with each other but I am reminded of Dhruv and Koel when I see you two. Is it my mind which is playing tricks on me ? Or is it that you both are just friends and he feels nothing more for you ? Anyway I did manage to wriggle out of the tough questions Rohit asked. Answered him in such a vague manner that he would not have understood what I meant to say. But why did he have to ask ? Couldn't he see the love I feel for you in my eyes ? Why is it that you are not open with him ? Why in the world can't you tell him that you love me ? As Myrah if not as Paro. You pretty much told me that you love me the day you wore your own gaghra. Then why did you not tell Rohit the same ? I was so angry with you at that moment. For putting me in this tough position. For leaving me alone to confront and set right the situation. Don't you know that the years we were together I could never take any decision of my own where you were concerned ? That I was good to take decisions on the spot and execute them only in BSD. Not at home with you around.

•          It was you came back to me after I set you free.
•          It was you who challenged me about not signing the papers.
•          You pushed me to start the wedding rituals.
•          You who decided to ditch me during our wedding.
•          Saved my life in the process
•          You decided to go away with Tejawat.
•          And you came back on your own.
•          You proposed to me
•          You refused to leave me
•          With Bhabhisa's help you proved your innocence
•          Forced me to put a closure to Laila's involvement
•          Saved my life from the poison
•          Decided to leave me
•          Then decided to come back to home
•          Made sure I got my closure with Maasa
•          ...

Should I list down more incidents my dear ? The only decision I ever took in my life was to tie the mangalsutra and take the saat pheras. With the help of alcohol though. Even though it was the singlemost cruel act towards you. It was the only sensible step I took where we are concerned. And now you have gone and hidden yourself somewhere in your own mind. And making it so hard for me. I stormed out of the room to escape further questioning from Rohit and whom do I run into the corridor ? You Myrah. And how could I not take out all my frustration ? Here I was torn between all my emotions and feelings and I see you happily walking around. Saying a mere sorry ? For leaving me alone to deal with the problems ? Just a sorry ? And then my dam of anger burst. And flooded you Myrah. And the when it overflowed from your tears I repented. My intention was not to make you cry. What the hell have I done ?
 
(to be continued ...)

Chapter 7

RR through my eyes (Chapter 7)
The whole day yesterday and apparently the night revolved around the adoption of the baby girl. Rohit has never seen such drama in his entire life. His parents are also very subdued. More like the English. Believed in discussing amicably all the issues. No shouting or screaming. But in the haveli it was exactly the opposite. He could not understand why in the world a well earning businessman cannot adopt a baby if he and his wife were for it. Why Samrat's mother , the great Kakisa, should object ? And why should Samrat and Maithili listen to her ? The whole family acted as if she is the decision maker in the family. Nobody questioned her. I mean, it is okay to not question the head of the family (male or female - whoever takes this role) but that is only if he or she is unbiased and good at heart. Which is definitely not the case with Kakisa.
 
Rohit had no interest in this drama. Well, he is appreciative of the fact that people adopt babies. But beyond that - these people are in no way related to him. So he had interest in poking his nose. But Myrah thought different. Rohit found it very difficult to digest the change in Myrah. Till the last few days she was just like him in matters of giving people their space and privacy. Why in the world is she acting so weird now ?
 
Well agreed that she feels she has fallen for Rudra. And Rudra also acts as if he is into her. At least half the time. The other half he is the exact opposite. As if he just wants to push her away. Just shouts at her. Hurts her with his words. Then melts down the moment he see her tears threatening to flow down. Could this be termed love ? Will this man be able to take care of Myrah in a way she is worthy of ? Or will it be a mistake to support this ?
 


The whole house was like a funeral house after Samrat and Maithili left with the baby. To brighten Myrah's mood he suggested a dinner outing. Of course he has to ask Rudra to accompany too. So they went down to discuss the same when he saw that Rudra was having difficulty feeding Dhruv. Who can blame Dhruv ? After 7 years of tasty food how can a child settle for a burnt roti ? That too the day when he is missing his Maasi. Rohit felt bad for Dhruv. Was about to suggest to order in some food (if such a thing was possible in this part of the world) but then Myrah decided that she will make macaroni. Wonderful. Some more delay. " Let me make things faster at least. Myrah, is there anything I can doto help you ? " Rohit asked Myrah following her to the kitchen. "Yes please. Macaroni boild Kar do please " Myrah answered. And together just like their usual routine they prepared the dish. Rudra did come in between for something - water maybe. Oh no. To ask whether they need help. And seeing them working in harmony at the kitchen Rudra's face fell. Rohit could clearly see the disappointment. But he soon forgot and got back into the playful mode with Myrah. And gave her a white moustache of atta. Which later he and Dhruv laughed about. Rohit was gracious enough to give up the dinner plan fully after Dhruv's request. So far so good. They all had dinner at home itself and went to sleep.


Only to be woken in the morning with more drama. Myrah missing and then back with Samrat and Maithil. All those stupid discussions about loan repayment and coownership with Samrat and what not. What surprised him is that this was a plan made by Myrah and discussed with Rudra in the middle of the night. Myrah did not wake him up - Rohit - who was her friend, philosopher, guide for all these years. Instead consulted Rudra whom she has known for 20 days ? That really hurt. What hurt more was the fight Myrah and Rudra were having in front of Rohit. And the fact that they were not even aware of his being around.


One knows the value of something only when you are about to lose it. The friendship he had shared with Myrah was such that they used to be so comfortable that they can even fight and argue endlessly as if there are just the two of them in this world and still be friends the next morning. Rohit was under the impression that Myrah shared that intimacy with him and only him. But what he saw today between Rudra and Myrah proved otherwise. And that hurt a lot. And he said the same to Myrah in the room, " Where were the three of us talking ? You two were talking. I was not even involved. For God's sake , why are you getting into all these things. These people are not your family. We are getting married Myrah. And I do not want the girl I love to be dragged into all this nonsense."


Wait a minute. Did he just say he loved Myrah ? Love also has a very uncanny habit of making it's presence known at unexpected moments in life. He hugged her tight. Did not want to lose her - at any cost. They were almost there. Getting married in a couple of days. And at that moment all that mattered to him was the strong sense of love he felt for Myrah. How he is the right person for her. How good they will be together - through thick and thin. All his earlier sacrificing attitude took a back seat.
How can this moody father of a 7 year old be a match for his sparkling beautiful Myrah ? Rohit could not see anything in Rudra which could be of value to Myrah. What the hell !! How can a person who is still in deep love with his dead wife (as per Myrah herself) feel anything for Myrah in the long run ? Rohit has never seen Rudra trying even once to make Myrah laugh. To make her feel cherished. Rudra and Myrah are from totally different circles. How can a US born Myrah be happy with Rudra who is running a security agency and is the head of a drama prone family ? "No way. Myrah deserves only me. And only I can give her the happiness she deserves. I should be fighting for my happiness and hers. "


That night the only thing which haunted Rohit was Rudra's words about Myrah, " Woh hamesha se aise hi thi. Jabse Maine Use Jaana Hai. Hamesha doosron ke bare mein hi sochthi hai" Who was Rudra talking about ? Myrah ? It was as if Rudra had known her for years ? How is that even remotely possible.
 
 
 
(To be continued ...)
 

Chapter 6

RR through my eyes (Chapter 6)
The haveli was suffocating Rohit now. And he needed some air. HE stepped out to go for a jog. There was restriction only for Myrah to step out. Not for him. He had to decide the future course of events. And time was running out.
His thoughts again went back to Myrah's recuperation. After about three years Myrah was almost back to normal. Her speech was as good as before. She became quite outgoing. Started working in her father's office on the advertisement side. Her dressing style was similar to before. Though she never got back her memory, she readily accepted the family and friends and tried her best to be like the Myrah she saw in the pictures and videos. And considered Rohit her best friend.
There was only one incidence when she had got drunk (they were all in a party thrown by a friend) and when Rohit went home to drop her back, her speech slurred and she started talking in Hindi that too in a particular dialect which he found difficult to follow. And she kept on saying Major. He had long forgotten the dialect and her speech that day but the Major part remained with him which he shared with her parents who got her enrolled in the university for a major in arts which she did not pursue. But the university helped her to take an interest in helping NGOs particularly those who helped girls who were thrust into prostitution - particularly in developing countries. And by the fifth year she was accompanying these NGOs to Bangladesh and Srilanka for working with the local communities. Her parents had created a racket about her first trip (alone) but from the second trip onwards they gained confidence that Myrah will take care of herself. She strongly felt about human trafficking of girls - particularly across country borders though she never even once worked with any NGO on such cases.
All these community activities were taking its toll on Myrah's mind. And it was an unwritten rule that all at home should at least keep her happy all the time. Never to show her their emotions.  As her parents and Rohit were what she had to fall back on.


Mean while pressure mounted at his home to get married and after meeting many girls as dates over a few months - Rohit decided to pop the question to Myrah. He never believed in love. Neither had she had any lover before. They were the best of friends. And for him it was a better bet for both of them to be with each other and be happy and to be themselves rather than get tied to two different people who in all probability will make their lives miserable. He knew she will do anything for him and viceversa. And that point alone - they decided -  was a good enough foundation for their future together.
This trip to India was announced by Myrah a month back. In spite of her being independently traveling the last few years, travel to India and that too alone was a cause of concern for both him and her parents. But Myrah was persuasive and with the help of her darling Chachu she could get her way. He had been too busy with an M&A. They could mostly communicate only through video messages. And he had seen the last message from her. She had looked so worried and so confused. She had mentioned that they may not need the venue for marriage after all. He knew something was wrong. And he took the next flight to India.


He will be affected if Myrah falls in love and marries somebody else. After their wedding announcement, he had relied on her more and more. Started dreaming about attaining that ever elusive love with her - some time in the future. But he was not so selfish to snatch her love from her - if she ever falls for another person. He was not here as a villain. He was here in his role as a friend. To make sure she had made the right choice. To meet the guy in person. To make sure Myrah will be safe with the new guy.


She never mentioned anything to him in person. But she knew that he had seen the message. And he knew that she knew. There was no need for words between them. They always had this thing between them - to act as if everything was normal even when they knew it was not. They waited always for the other person to come around and to disclose on his/her own. Never put pressure on each other. And thus Rohit waited. With a wooden expression on his face.


But he was not blind. He could see the tension between Rudra and Myrah. He could clearly see the love they had for each other. He could not find out what was holding them back. He had tried to extract info from both Rudra and Myrah. She almost confessed. Why she was doing all this adoption for Maithili Bhabhisa. She almost said that she is doing it for him. Then corrected herself.


Rohit decided it was time to confront Rudra. Getting Rudra's company to have a drink did not work out as expected. So Rohit decided to be straightforward and asked Rudra. What is going on between Rudra and Myrah ? Rudra was not in BSD for nothing. He could handle the investigation very well. Gave an answer without giving a direct answer.


But Rohit got his answer when Rudra while walking out of the room, collided with Myrah. All the anguish and pain and love came out tumbling in words. Words of anger directed at her. For making Rudra go through this. And then Rohit saw how Rudra's face changed from anger to concern and affection the moment Myrah's eyes filled up with tears.


Rohit himself saw Myrah about to cry only recently and it did affect him. But the effect the tears had on Rudra Pratap Ranawat was stunning.


That night when Rohit was sleeping he was haunted by one word - Major. Myrah shouting Major. But he did not remember it the next day morning. Else he would have connected Myrah's desire to major in arts to ex-Major Rudra Pratap Ranawat !!
 
 
(To be continued ...)

Chapter 5

RR through my eyes (Chapter 5)
Rohit was not quite happy with the way things went in the drawing room of the haveli. After Rudra formed a human chain with Myrah and him he had expected Rudra to blurt out something. Anything to confirm Rohit's doubts. But no. Rohit had tried to push him further - goading Rudra to leave Myrah's hand. And then he could hardly see what followed as it happened in the flash of a second. Myrah was pulled behind Rudra and Rudra himself was standing in front of Rohit. Towering over him - glaring at  Rohit. Daring Rohit as to what he will do if Rudra does not leave Myrah's hand. Rohit saw it then. The possessiveness. The ownership. The seal of belonging and protectiveness. But Rohit had wanted some verbal confirmation. Which did not happen. Myrah came in between and was visibly upset and shaken by the drama which immediately changed Rudra's stand. He let go. And asked her to take the decision. And when she made the decision to not go shopping and went back to her room (with Rohit) Rudra did what he could under the circumstances. Damage control. Got the sareewala home and apologised to Rohit. Well , sort of.
 
Rohit had known Myrah since their first day in the nursery. Had met her almost every week at least - even after they started going to different universities. Till her accident seven years back in India. Both the families and a few of their relatives including Myrah Uncle were on a Rajasthan trip. Myrah used to be a fab photographer. One of her passions had been to tour the world and to capture the moments where she felt connected. And she had been doing the same that fateful day as well. During these photo sessions nobody could reach her through phone. She was immersed in the beauty in front of her eyes, in the lights and shadows and angles and ranges that time stood still. And that day none of them could reach her for more than 24 hours. And nobody felt anything suspicious because Myrah was that kind of a person. After 56 hours they got a call from the hospital about her having met with an accident and that she was in the ICU. She was in a coma for days.
 
The accident changed her a lot. To start with she lost her speech. Fortunately it was only for a year. Once she was out of the coma she was flown to America and treated by the best doctors that money could buy. She could hear but not talk. Funnily enough she responded only to family. And not to the hospital staff or the doctors. He had attributed this to Myrah's defiance of authority. But something happened which made him wonder whether this was the reason.
 
After two months of being in the hospital, Myrah was assigned an Indian born nurse. Somehow Myrah connected with her. Started listening to her and slowly but steadily the family members and friends were relieved that they could leave Myrah with the nurse in case of emergency rather than taking turns to be with Myrah.  Rohit realized from his discussions with the nurse that Myrah used to respond only to Hindi. He tested out this himself and found that the accident has somehow caused her to forget English altogether. He added that to the long list of other changes in Myrah which were not explained. Like her sudden aversion to milk. Her shyness in changing her dress in front of male doctors or even her own father. And her dislike of western clothes. Or rather preference of Indian dresses. The only thing which was Indian about Myrah before the accident was her long tresses. But it seems she has become more Indianized after the trauma.
 
After five months the doctors gave Myrah permission to shift to her home. And the family hired the same Indian nurse. And just like that - one day after almost a year from the day of accident - Myrah started talking. She had no memories of her life before. And her parents tried their best to recreate her memory through photos, videos, anecdotes about her life and through Myrah's own selfies and video messages. She had forgotten all about photography and one of the leading photographers offered to help out through training. But Myrah could never go back to the original creative style.
 
She had recurring nightmares. And recurring headaches. None of the doctors could find any physical problem with her. And thus began her counseling sessions. They helped quite a lot. Myrah who had become very quiet and reserved during that year slowly started being happy and cheerful. Maybe the counseling was too good as the arrogance and defiance which were hallmarks of Myrah 1.0 ( that is how Rohit used to refer to her in front of his parents not hers !!) were absent in the new Myrah. And just like a true friend he saw her through her troublesome time and also all the later years. Following the counselor's advice to the dot by never putting pressure on her to remember her past. Tried his best to keep her happy all the time. Be her pillar of support. Shielding her from all the unwanted prying eyes and questioning people.
 
(To be continued ...)