Chapter 16

RR through our eyes (Chapter 16)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.
 

Going forward we will be able to post only one Chapter per week :-(

There was no way Myrah could refuse to listen to such emotional pleas from her parents to put the wedding on hold till they reach India. She agreed – rather reluctantly.

She could not move her legs. Even after her parents had logged off. Even after she sat there for more than 45 mins. She was not sure whether she did the right thing. To bow to the pressure from the other side of the world. And to take a decision regarding her life – their life – hers and Rudra’s – without even consulting him. She did not want to anger her Daddy more than she already has.  How could she have brought Rudra back to the room to discuss the point of putting the wedding on hold ? What would have been his reaction ? Will he be as apprehensive of her parent’s motive as she was right now ?

“Are you okay Myrah ? “ She was startled hearing Rudra’s voice. “Eh...yeah I am fine” she replied. Not sounding convincing to her own ears.

“What happened ? You seem to be in a shock. Is the call over ? What did your parents say to upset you ? “ Myrah detected concern in Rudra’s voice in the first question which by the time he reached the last one had turned to one of annoyance. She was surprised by the way Rudra could read her. How he could figure out that she was in a shock.

“My parents want to be present for our wedding” Myrah ventured. That was not the full truth. But the best way to start it.

“Oh that is good. They could get tickets for the earliest flight ? I am so glad. I would have otherwise felt that I robbed them of the chance for witnessing their daughter’s wedding” Rudra replied. “But wait a minute, why you are so upset about their coming to India ? You don’t want them to be part of our marriage ceremony ? Why ?”

The thought that the wedding which they had all finalised for the day after tomorrow will get postponed, never crossed Rudra’s mind. Some things are a given for him. Written on stone. Like the wedding date of him and Myrah is fixed. And in his mind any other event has to adjust to suit these decisions.

“No they did not get the tickets. It is a vacation time and the earliest I expect them to get tickets is after a week “

“Kay Matlab ?” There was en edginess in his voice. And his face has become stern. Rudra finally got an inkling on what the next news is going to be. He did not want to hear it confirmed.

He cut short Myrah’s line. “ We are getting married as decided Myrah. I do not want to wait any longer. God knows I have waited long enough to have you back in my life. “ Myrah could see his fist tightening. His face ready to burst with anger. Eyes sharp emanating heat. A different form of Rudra from the one she had ever seen..

 

 

Not the one she saw even when she cracked a joke about Paro committing suicide. That was an outburst filled with regret

Not the Rudra she saw when she decked up in Paro’s clothes unknowingly. That was an outburst filled with longing and sadness

This one was pure anger. Angry at the turn of events. Myrah felt terrified. This was not the Rudra she knew. She felt suffocated for the second time that day. On one hand was her father’s anger towards her and her decision. And on the other hand the anger of Rudra at the change of plans. She felt her heart constrict. Her lungs struggling to take in the air. She stretched her hand out to hold onto something for support. “Rudra..” she called out.

Her voice shook him out of his anger. He could clearly see that she was suffering. She held onto her. Pulled her against him. Supported her and made her sit. And she fainted in his arms.

Luckily his BSD instincts kicked in. From the volcano which is about to erupt he became the caring parent. He carried her to bed. Fetched water and sprinkled it on her face. Cradled her face against him. Stroking her hair and face. Whispering soothing words and rocked her gently till her breathing returned to normal. He realized his own breath was caught till she became okay. Indicating clearly that his life depended on her. As if his lungs can function only if hers work properly.

“Tum Thik Ho ?” Rudra queried. “Haan. Aur Aap ?” she asked trying to open her eyes. She was in a daze. He could see that. The words were slurred. “Main theek hoon Paro. “ he replied. He could see relief washing over her face and a hint of a smile before she turned her face against his shoulder and fainted again.

It was Maithili who called for the doctor after she came running hearing Rudra’s scream “Paro............”.

Rohit had retired to his room once Myrah and Rudra started the skype call. There was nothing more for him to do there. He was not sure how the call would have progressed. But he did expect some displeasure from Myrah’s parents side. He had deliberately not told them about Rudra’s first marriage and Dhruv. It was not in his position to part with that info. It was up to Myrah how she wanted to present Rudra and his family. He felt he has already let down his and Myrah’s parents down. They all knew how much himself and Myrah were close. And both the set of parents liked their friendship and had hoped and prayed that it turned into an alliance.  And Myrah did agree before she came to India and what a celebration they had that day. Rajeev and Poonam thanked him for being the man whom Myrah can look upto and trust. A man who knew about her accident and her nightmares. The issues she went through. A man whom she can rely on. And what did he do ? Just let her go to Rudra. Without even putting up a good fight. Whether he is doing the right thing or not – only time will tell.

He was woken up from his deep sleep by Rudra’s scream. Once Rohit found out about Myrah’s fainting he knew what had to be done. Before the doctor arrived he collected all the medicines of Myrah, her medical files and was ready for the doctor. Discussed in detail with him about her condition. Consulted with Myrah’s doctor in US about the treatment proposed by the visiting doctor, got his confirmation and made sure everything was done to take care of Myrah. Rohit went back to his room only after Myrah opened her eyes and smiled. And that is when he realised that he will do anything to see that smile on her face. If it is Rudra who will bring the smile – so be it.

Rudra was in a trance during the doctor’s visit. When Myrah was given injections and the drip. While she was unconscious and later after she opened her eyes - Rudra lived every horrible moment of the day years back. He remembered how on that fateful day he had tried in vain to get Paro to open her eyes. He remembered when the doctor came that day. Checked Paro’s pulse and put Paro in the ambulance and took her to the hospital. When Rudra followed her to the hospital and waited in the corridor next to the ICU with little Dhruv in hand. Every dreaded moment of his life – he relived today. Made him aware of what he can lose again if he is not careful with his words and actions.

Paro needed Rudra to protect her – physically. He could not provide that. Paro needs him now to protect her mentally. Paro in the form of Myrah needs his emotional support. He did not want to fail this time. Come what may he decided to control his anger. To make sure he made Myrah comfortable emotionally. What will help her sail through this tough phase is his calmness and understanding. In the past Paro could put up with all his anger issues. His shouting and “Jallad” behaviour.  Paro as Myrah is a different personality. He has to accept that. And respect it. He can in no way expect Myrah to understand him as well as Paro used to. Till she remembers everything and realises that she is Paro. Till then he has to be her anchor. Her rocksteady support to get them both across the raging waves.

Rudra was brought back to the reality when Kakusa shook his shoulder. The doctor was giving clear instructions to Rudra and others to take care of Myrah and to not give her any more shocks. And one by one everybody retired to their own rooms. Rudra lied down next to Myrah keeping an eye on the drip. His life has been a roller coaster ride ever since he can remember. Yesterday after Myrah called off her wedding and declared her desire to wed Rudra – he expected life to be smooth at least now. But NO. God has different plans looks like.

Maithili was in deep thought even after she retired to her room. Samrat pacified her saying Myrah will be fine now. That with the medicines she will become okay very soon. Little did Samrat know that what worried Maithili was not Myrah’s physical health. It was Rudra who troubled her. His screaming Paro which troubled her. Maithili had asked Rudra to move on. Actually encouraged him to move on because she felt Rudra saw Myrah as Myrah. Maithili was also responsible to some extent to push Myrah to take a call stay back and get married to Rudra. Now she wondered whether she did the right thing. Is Devarjisa seeing Paro in Myrah ? If yes that can only spell doom in the future. Not to mention that hiding ir from Myrah is unfair to the poor girl.

Somewhere in the early morning hours, just before he slipped into sleep, Rudra could not help remembering how Myrah asked him “Aur Aap ?” the way Paro used to. Only if Myrah wakes up remembering she is Paro. Only if wishes came true..........He was reminded of the quote “Whisper your wish to a butterfly and it will fly upto heaven and make it come true “ Butterfly ? He was reminded of Paro’s titli. Where are you Rukmini ? Hear my wish for myself and Paro. For Paro to remember that I am her Rudra. Make it happen dear........

Precap: Somewhere in a far off place in a castle in a dilapidated state, a mobile phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello .." The voice on the other side of the line was filled with fear. "Thakursa, buri khabar hai"..

 

Chapter 15

RR through our eyes (Chapter 15)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

 

“Myrah, I would like to talk to you now. ALONE. Please stay back. Rudra, give us some time. ALONE. ” Rajeev said. More like roared. After that it was as if the mute button was pressed in skype at both the laptops. Myrah felt as if she is getting burnt by the looks her parents gave her over the monitor. She could feel them rather than see them. She dared not look at the monitor. She could feel the tension in Rudra. There was nothing she could do at this moment to assure him that all will be well. She herself did not feel sure of anything anymore. When Rohit informed her that he has been in touch with her parents all through and they were up-to-date with what was happening in the haveli, she had assumed that her parents knew everything about Rudra  and Dhruv. And when the video chat started and she saw her mother bubbling with energy and her father a little moody compared to normal, Myrah was quite relieved. She was hoping that their first meeting with Rudra will be a cake walk. But now she understands otherwise. Rohit never told them the whole story. She wondered why. Was he afraid of their reaction ? Or did he just forget ? Did he think that to not tell the truth about Rudra’s past is the best thing to do to get her parent’s blessings ? Anyway, now is not the time to ponder over what happened, what should have happened or what she should have done.

She felt difficulty in breathing..She tried hard. Probably Rudra saw her gasp for breath. Because his right hand moved slowly and covered her shaking left hand. Held in a tight grip. She did not realise till then that her hands had grown cold. Numb. His warm hand pressed against her cold hand gave her some strength. From the corner of her eye she could see Rudra extend his left hand and get hold of the glass of water. He passed it onto her which she accepted without even a glance in his direction. She felt afraid to look at her parents. And ashamed of herself that she had let Rudra down in some way. And hence could not look at him as well.

“Myrah, paani pi lo” Rudra’s words brought her back to reality. That she was still holding onto the glass with her right hand. Slowly she sipped water. Seconds ticked away in slow motion. Why is the internet working so well in India when she badly wanted the line to get disconnected ?

It was Rudra who spoke again. But this time to her parents. Not to her.

 

“I understand that you want to talk to Myrah alone. I will leave the room.” He said. “Myrah, if you need anything call out my name. I will be standing outside.” Squeezing her hand to show his understanding, he stepped out. Myrah felt even worse. She should have been the one under control. To put Rudra at ease. Instead she is a bundle of nerves. All thanks to her Dad’s shouting. She felt anger building up inside her. There was no reason for her Dad to behave like that. To make Rudra feel like an outsider and ask him to literally get out. This is not done. Luckily the anger helped her to get back her breath. With piercing eyes she turned towards her parents.

“How can you talk to him like that ? Why did you ask him to go out ? You could have said whatever you wanted to both of us, you know.” Myrah’s voice was still trembling. She was not sure what was the reason behind it – fear or anger.

“Yeah right. Myrah, come out of your trance. We are talking about you here. And you emotions and decisions. Not Rudra. Are you in your right frame of mind ? You wanted to travel to India alone. You insisted. We agreed. The plan was for you to find a venue for your wedding with Rohit later in the year. Then within a few days Rohit travels to India and you decide to get married to him within a week. Without even the parents of both of you. Fine we agreed. So did Rohit’s parents. Two days later he calls up and says you two are getting married the next day – that is today. Now when you call us we assume it is to get our blessings. And we come to know that YOU changed the groom in the last minute. From your friend of years to a widowed man with a son. Whom you just met. Who in their rational mind will do such a thing ? You and Rohit decided to get married after knowing each other from childhood. And Rudra and you decide that you will spend the rest of your lives with each other after spending less than a month together ? “ Rajeev was literally fuming. And for once Poonam did not interrupt her husband. It was as if they had ganged up against their only child.

“Daddy, to fall in love one does not need to spend years together. You and Mama know that already. You both met once in a cousin’s wedding and fell in love.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. That was different. We were related. Our families knew each other well. Though we had not met before that we knew all about each other. And most importantly we both were not married. And we did not keep changing our decisions. I will get the travel agent to book another ticket along with Rohit. Just get on that plane and come back. No more discussions over long distance”

“Yes I agree. Rajeev is right. Myrah , do not take decisions in haste that will make you regret later. Just come back home, honey. You need not marry Rohit. We are all fine with that. Come home. Bas. We need to see you in person” Poonam sounded desperate. Frustration in having to deal with such a fickle minded daughter was quite present in her tone.

Myrah was now sure that there was no way her parents will give approval for the wedding. And she loved her parents too much to go against their wishes. But she was not ready to leave Rudra and go back. No way. If her parents care so much about her then let them come here for the wedding.

“Okay I also agree that we should discuss this in person. But I am not coming there. You both come over to India and attend the wedding and give me and Rudra your blessings. “Myrah replied

“Have you taken leave of your.....” Rajeev’s words were cut short by Poonam who was more in control of herself by now. “Thik Hai Myrah. We will come. And we three will sit and discuss. We have gone through hell before as well - just after your accident. But we all survived then. We will survive now also. So we will come”

“Mama, don’t compare my wedding to my accident” Myrah’s voice went up a notch.

“Nahin beta. That is not what I meant. We three have faced more difficult situations. So this also we can go through. Provided we all are ready to behave amicably. We both will come there. Give me a promise that you will not do anything in haste till then. That you will not start the wedding preparations till we come there. “

“But Mama.........” Myrah started thinking of how in the world can she convince them now. She was not sure she wanted to wait even one more day to be united with Rudra. She felt as if she has waited years already - not a few days.

“We are your parents and want the best for you. So don’t treat us as enemies.” Rajeev finally spoke. He fell in line with his wife. Now is not the time to push Myrah to a corner or to make her feel alone. He was confident that they can make her see sense in their line of thinking. But it has to be in person as Poonam had put it.

There was no way Myrah could refuse to listen to such emotional pleas. She agreed – rather reluctantly. And sat there staring at the empty monitor for more than half an hour. Wondering whether her future as she wished for now would be affected by that promise she gave her parents. Whether her parents will try to talk her out of the wedding once they were here.

“Rajeev, aapko aise nahin karna chahiye tha “ Poonam’s accusing voice was directed at Rajeev after the call.”Didn’t you see her struggling for her breath ? What if she got a panic attack like earlier ? You should have had more control”

“Yes I made a mistake. But I was not prepared for this shock. And Rohit also did not tell us before. Hope Myrah is fine. I was so stupid to pounce on her like that.” Rajeev was ridden with guilt.

Both of them have seen the panic attacks and the nightmares Myrah went through for years after the accident. They took so much care to not affect her in any way. Never even raised their voice when she was around. And today he shouted at her. Inspite of Poonam trying to put him at ease Rajeev could not forgive himself for what he did.

Chapter 14

RR through our eyes (Chapter 14)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

Poonam Mehra tried to start the conversation, “ Beta, born and brought up in Jaipur ? Are your parents staying with you ? Can we meet them now ?”

Rudra was thankful for the questions. He explained a little about his old haveli where he was born. How his parents are no more with them. That he stays with Kakusa and Kakisa and his cousins and their families. Poonam bombarded him with more questions about what he does for a living. What his Kakusa does. And his cousins.

“You are running your own security company ? That is good. Since when? “ Poonam queried

“For the last 7 years. Before that I was working as a Major in Border Security Force” Rudra answered her question as well as her most probable next question

“BSD ?” Rajeev and Poonam asked together.

“Yes in BSD. Why ? Have you heard of it ?” Rudra was suddenly interested to know.

“Yes. We also met a couple of officers sometime back when we had visited India. Actually when Myrah had her accident.” Rajeev explained. Rajeev was relieved that Rudra was part of BSD. He was well aware of the stringent recruitments which happened there. At least the guy was from a reputed profession. Why did he then leave it ? Rajeev wondered. Maybe he will hold the question for another time.

Poonam Mehra tried to break the ice, again. “We are very glad to meet you, Rudra. You must be really a great man to have won over our princess’s heart within such a short time.”

“Thank you Maasa.” He barely could hear himself mutter. His princess who did declare her unconditional love to him years back was beaming with happiness now. At least her mother has accepted Rudra.

“It is not me Maasa. She is the one who is special. Me and Dhruv just cannot live without her.” Rudra said.

“Yes. Dhruv is such a sweet kid. He is sleeping now. Tomorrow I will definitely get him to talk to you both on skype. Can you imagine ? He was the one who was very sure of us. Right from the beginning. “ Myrah chipped in.

“Who is this Dhruv? “ Rajeev enquired.

“Hamara Beta” Rudra replied immediately.

“Rudra has a son who is 7 years old.” Myrah explained.

“Is Rudra married ?” Rajeev voice levels had gone up a notch.

“Yes I am married” pat came Rudra’s reply. Which was followed by pin drop silence. Then Rajeev shouted from miles away,” Myrah, have you lost it ? Ready to marry an already married man ? ”

Rudra realised his mistake but by then the damage was done. Now he could not bring himself to say he was married. That Paro is no more. She is very much there in front of him. How can he lie ?

“Dad, chill. Rudra WAS married. His wife ...” Myrah rescued him this time. Rudra could heave a sigh of relief. He glanced at Myrah whose eyes were on him. They had a questioning look in them. As if asking him why did you talk about Paro in the present tense. He looked away. He knew now is not the time to explain or get into a discussion. And thankfully Myrah let it go. They had two others in front of them who had to be convinced.

“He is separated from his wife ? Rudra, are you two divorced ? Or just separated ? Why did the break up happen ? Do you still love your wife ? This time the questions were from Poonam. Poonam rained the questions without even waiting for Myrah to complete her statement. She was visibly upset to know Rudra is married and has a kid.

Rudra heard all the questions. But what remained in his mind was the last question. Do you still love your wife ? Yes he does. And he will – always. But there is no way he can say that. If he says it the chances of winning over Myrah’s parents will be lost forever. If he says “No, I do not love her anymore (which is a big lie and cannot be uttered)” Myrah will definitely be unsettled. She knows for a fact that he still loves Paro. She has come to terms with the fact that Rudra will create (has already created) space for herself, Myrah, in his life. How is he supposed to answer this question. He wanted to just get up from the chair. To shout at Myrah for putting him through this. For forgetting everything. For being so carefree under the cloak of memory loss whereas his shoulders are carrying the whole burden of not being able to say the truth.

“Mom, please.......Let me finish my sentence. Her name is Paro. She still lives in this haveli and in the minds of Rudra and Dhruv. Though she is no more. She passed away 7 years back. “ Myrah again came his rescue. He slowly raised his eyes sideways to look at her. There she was. Sitting next to him. Reassuring him with a smile. He kept staring at her. He did not fail to notice the tears breaking at the corner of her eyes.

 

 

“Myrah, I would like to talk to you now. ALONE. Please stay back. Rudra, give us some time. ALONE. ” Rajeev said. More like roared. Rajeev had had enough. He was patiently listening to his wife’s questions and daughter’s answers. And he did not miss the lost look on Rudra’s face. This is not going anywhere. The whole conversation. He is not able to make head or tail out of his daughter’s sudden fascination with this man - a widower with a 7 year old son. High time he took control and find out what is happening.