Season1 Finale Chapter 35

RR through our eyes (Chapter 35)

 

Thanks Mano for the edits.

 

No riches or brains can turn the clock back.

OR bring back the past.

OR take back the words spoken.

One has to live with the consequences.

 

***

They stood there facing each other.  Not able to move or say anything. They wanted to move away but their hearts wanted to stay close.

 

They both were hoping that the last few minutes could be turned back. And they could be back to their loving life.

 

But it was not to be.

His brain is trying to control his heart. Making him doubt his Paro.

 And her brain is not able to bring back her memories. Making her doubt his love for her present form.

 

There was nothing more he could say or do to make her feel better. Even when in doubt - he could not see her in pain. Why does he want to put her at ease and absorb all the pain himself ? He was unable to understand. But Hell !! He himself was in no position to say anything. He just wanted to scream his lungs out.  And he thought it best to go away from the place.

 

“I am going to office. Will be late. “ Force of habit. To inform Paro  whenever he leaves. Paro or Myrah ? What confusion.

 

She did not reply. Just looked at him walking away - through the veil of tears formed in her eyes. It was as if all the strength of her legs were gone the moment he stepped out. And she collapsed on the floor.  All along he was thinking she is his Parvati ? And here she was in love with him – Rudra. She was under the impression that he too loved her. Her as in Myrah. She had specifically asked him before the marriage. Hadn’t she ? When he proposed to her in a drunken state. She had also asked him the next day when he was sober.  Whether he is looking for his wife in her. What if he seeks his wife in her ? And he had promised her that he loves her and only her. And will never ask her to change. Will take her for what she is.

 

What does that mean ? He hid the truth from her ? From what she knows of Rudra – he is one of the most straight forward guys. And he was reluctant to get married to her initially when she had proposed. He had said that love happens only once and that happened for him with his wife. She never tried to find out what happened to change his mind.

 

Maybe he did not lie to her. He could not help himself as he started to lie to himself. He had started seeing her as his wife and did not want to let go of her. But is lying to oneself as cruel as lying to one’s partner ?

 

Come to think of it Rudra has been playing ping pong with his feelings towards her. Usually people get cold feet just before commitment. But Rudra spent the night before wedding with her. They shared such wonderful moments. Then they had the best wedding of the year.  Followed by a dreamy night. Wait ------- he had been aloof on the wedding day - after dinner too. He came to the room only because she went to bring him. He had not resisted. Not exactly. Nor was he a willing partner - till when ? What was it that she said which changed him into a lover ?  She could not pin point the exact moment. Damn...........

 

And now what had happened just now? He was fine in the morning , back in the haveli, during lunch and even during dessert. Then he got the call. He came to explain to her. He was okay then too. They were all chatting again. Then he got another call and he went towards the door. Must have been the second call.  Which caused him to flip again.

 

Oh what a mess. What is the way out of this dilemma ? She loved him with all her heart. Is it too much to expect that he loved her back as well ? Even if it is much lesser than the love she has for him – it is fine. But there should be love from him. For the person she is. And not for her face.

Easiest way out is to go away from him. But what about the promise she made ? Is her resolve so feeble that at the first instance she bolts ? No she will stay put. She will have talks with him. Try to see whether they can make this work. For her sake, for his sake and for their son’s sake. Tears flowed on their own. But her heart wept more. She cannot even imagine living without Dhruv and Rudra. But she knew it is going to be hell living with Rudra - now that she knows he never loved her and perhaps never will.

 

She was never one to give up or give in so easily. Flashes of her standing in rain to prove a point to Rudra and Rudra coming running to her - shocked her. Where did that come from ? Is her brain playing with her ? She cannot remember ever standing in rain and Rudra coming running to her. But the scene which flashed in front of her eyes just now looked almost real. She pressed her fingers to her fore head in a vain attempt to stop the throbbing headache.

 

***************

Rudra was in no better situation. His mind went back to the day he went to her room to record a sorry. His seeing the recordings where Paro (no not Paro. Myrah) talked about her nightmares. What are the other things which she said or did which convinced him ?

 

The nightmares must be from the story she heard. Phulwari would have definitely known about the way Paro left Dhruv in the cupboard to save his life. The flashes of her throwing a doll at the boy – well that story was known to the entire world when Paro explained it in the felicitation ceremony. Calling him MajorSa would have been just a coincidence. Myrah knew he was in BSD and maybe she just called him by that title. Proposing to him with Sindoor in hand – again that was present all over the papers. Myrah has been living in the haveli for so many days now. Sure she would have known about his hate marriage with Paro and the eighth vachan. Myrah would have used it to her advantage.

 

He has been taken for a royal ride. By not only Myrah but also fate and Bholenath. And here he was thinking Paro was returned to him after his penance and grief of seven years. How could he a BSD officer believe this without even any kind of proof ? How could he – Paro MajorSa- fall for another woman ? He hated his brain. His mind. His body. Himself. They were accessories to this murder. Murder of his love and Paro’s.

He had not realised that he had reached the hospital. His colleagues and the minister were waiting in the corridor. He had to push aside his problems for the time being – for the sake of the lives of two innocent girls. Megha was still unconscious. But the doctors were hopeful that she will wake up in another couple of hours.

 

There was no news about the other girl. Police had tried their best earlier but with little success. Then things moved fast an hour after Megha was found. It seems Tejawat had assembled all the villagers in the morning (as soon as they heard about Megha’s return)  and stressed to them how BSD or the local police will never help their daughters. How all those in power will support only those in power – thus accusing the police of supporting only the minister’s daughter. And that he, Tejawat, will do anything – part with any amount of money, go to any length  -  to get back the village’s beti.

 

And later around noon it seems they got a call from the kidnappers asking for 50 lakhs as ransom for Radha which as they speak Tejawat is arranging for. The whole setup looked suspicious to the police and Rudra  but there was nothing they had to prove Tejawat’s involvement. Villagers had assembled with him supporting him this time. To everybody’s surprise there was media as well in the village highlighting how the villagers are treated by the police and BSD in a step motherly fashion.  And by evening 6pm the exchange was made with the kidnapper and Radha was brought back home in the midst of celebrations. She was not in a position to talk much but did thank Thakursa for his help in front of the media.

 

The situation in the hospital was still gloomy. In the meantime Murty landed up in the hospital. Hhaving known the South Indian minister and having heard of his daughter’s kidnapping – he was in touch with the minister after Rudra’s reception yesterday night. Murty’s NGO had some data from interactions with a few of the villagers and he was willing to share them with Rudra’s team to identify and catch the kidnappers.

Dreading going back home and having to interact with Paro (or is it Myrah) in the room - he decided to prolong the return to the haveli. Since there was nothing much happening in the hospital Rudra decided to visit the NGO’s local office along with Murty.

During the ride he came to know about his connection with Myrah. Murty is a friend of Myrah’s Chacha. Murty was part of the same political party for years before he decided to give up his political career. Instead he focused on setting up a network of NGOs. And the one to which Phulwari belongs is part of that network. Murty is a frequent traveller not only within India but also abroad. During one of his trips to USA he had met the Mehras and also Myrah. Over the years Myrah started working with him. To work together towards helping victims of abuse. Both abroad and in India. Thus she joined their US office.

 

Rudra could also learn that Myrah and Phulwari were introduced by him. But they both had never met before. Their interactions were limited to phone calls. Phulwari and Myrah had worked together to help  a girl from Tripura who was married and sent to USA and was ill treated by her in-laws. They could with the help of Indian Embassy get the poor girl back to India to her family.

The information shared by Murty was not much but at least explained why Phulwari was silent for some time after seeing Myrah during the reception. She did not know that Myrah looked like Paro. If Phulwari was in Tripura for some time now what are the odds that she had shared any info about Paro with her ?

Rudra could not continue asking more questions about Myrah as they reached the office. It was almost 8pm and there was just one security person outside. Murty was on the phone with one of the employees and with his help able to get hold of a bunch of files related to Birpur and surrounding villages. There was a register where Murty had to sign to take the registers out with the purpose also filled in.

“You are quite thorough.” Rudra could not help commenting

“Yes. We are. There is quite some sensitive info in some of the files. We need to follow the procedure to make sure it does not fall in wrong hands.” Murty clarified. He came across as a genuine person interested in helping people.

“You can sit here and read. And I will wait. Visitors have to be accompanied by employees. That is the rule. I have no other commitments. So am okay to wait as long as you want. The files cannot be taken outside the building by anybody. So you need to read them here only. But you are newly married. Won’t Myrah be waiting for you ? Maybe you should get going. We can do this tomorrow” Murty further added.

“That is fine. I will spend an hour or so and then return. She will understand. I am sure.” Rudra replied and without wasting any time started browsing through the files. Murty started browsing through some files too.

 

Half an hour later Rudra still had no further inputs. Only half his mind was on the files. The other half was on his own ill fate. And on the way forward. And that was when his eyes fell on a file named Parvati. With trembling hands he opened it. And found that the file was made the day after Paro proposed to him in the hall. Yes how can he forget the day ? The file had a write up signed by Damayanti before visiting Ranawat family. A couple of pages about their visit and findings. And after that was the tagged photo of Paro’s proposal, the newspaper clip of Paro drenched in rain, article on him and his crusade against terrorism and a last report (handwritten) on Shantanu, what he did on that fateful day, how it happened, how Paro saved her child , Shantanu’s arrest and conviction. Rudra sat rooted to his seat and was brought out of his shock by Murty exclaiming “Look at this Rudra. “

 

The file Murty held in hand was on one of the kidnapping victims – a teenager boy who was interviewed when he was released by kidnappers. Where he had mentioned that he heard one kidnapper tell the other one to not touch the money as it has to be returned to the place it came from. “What does this mean ?” Murty was curious.

 

“ Tejawat was the one paying all the ransom. This shows he is the one arranging for the kidnappings as well. It was our suspicion too. But why is the question. And why Megha ? When there was no ransom involved in her case. “

 

Rudra could not concentrate anymore on Tejawat or the kidnappings. He wound up things for the night and stepped out of the office with Murty. He had one question before they left.

 

“All these files you have in hard copy. Not in the computer database ? How do you share them across your other offices ? “

 

“ We do not have computers and a common database yet. We do not have that much funding. So we make do with faxes and hard copies. But all files are replicated at all our offices. As backup.”

 

There was nothing more to ask. Promising to meet the next day in the hospital they locked the room and were about to step out when Phulwari got down along with another friend from an auto.

 

“Hi Preeti, what are you doing here at this time ?” Murty was surprised to see her.

 

“Have a call with Rahman in Dhaka in another 15 mins. Regarding Zubeida. Since it is going to be a long call I thought it better to take it from the office along with Madhu.”she said indicating to her friend by the side.  

 

“Can I have a word with you ?” Rudra did not want to let go of the opportunity which presented itself.

 

“Yes Rudra. Madhu , can you update Murtygaaru about the details of Zubeida ? In the meantime I will talk to Rudra. “

 

“What are you doing here Rudra ? Aren’t you supposed to be with your lovely wife ? “ Phulwari was curious. And Rudra explained the situation of the kidnapping case.

 

“Ah Tejawat. Possible that he is involved. He has wreaked havoc in many villagers’ lives. But I do not know of any recent developments. Was posted in the Tripura office for the last few years. “

 

Further questioning by Rudra proved that Phulwari was aware of Shantanu’s arrest but not beyond that. She used to reminisce about Paro’s story when they visited the haveli for many days. She has known Myrah for a few years now. Though they never met in person, they grew close and she had discussed about Tejawat and the fake weddings he sponsored and also about Rudra and Paro.

 

Phulwari kind of looked disappointed that Rudra married again though she never said anything. She was all praise of Myrah, her selfless attitude and straightforward behaviour. But did wonder about why Myrah did not tell her that Rudra is the groom. It was time for Phulwari to join the call. And Rudra said bye to Murty and her and left soon.

 

Rudra stopped his jeep on the way back. He had seen the file. And he knew it was available in Myrah’s office too. So in all probability she would have seen it. In any case as per Phulwari, information was exchanged between her and Myrah regarding him and Paro.  He was now convinced that Myrah knew all about Paro and succeeded in hiding it from him. Whatever was missing in the file she would have extracted from the “more than willing inmates” of the haveli.

 

When Paro left him he had felt that he will disintegrate into pieces. Never before had he felt that kind  of sharp piercing pain – every living minute. He had believed at that time that nothing can hurt him more than the absence of Paro. But now he knew better. Now he felt the pain will crush him and powder him into dust. Not only had he married Myrah but also spent two nights in a row with her. Hugging her, kissing her, making love to her, sharing his soul as well as body with her. How could he not have known ? Why ? Bholenath why ? How much more should he endure in this life ? Wasn’t it enough that you took away the only love of my life ? Did you have to mock my love too by making me think Myrah is Paro ?

 

Old habits die hard. Rudra has two habits. To not completely trust others. And to be very impulsive. So he has no trust in Paro – er.. Myrah. And decided that she is guilty. He just wished his heart stopped beating....

 

Not only did his heart not stop beating but it also refused to be fully in sync with his brain. Though he did not realise it there was one small corner of his stupid heart which was not ready to fall in line.

 

When he first met Paro he had concluded that she was guilty – by association. Now he concluded that Myrah is guilty – by association.

 

Rudra chose to ignore his heart. And so did Paro. They stand now - against each other, opposing each other,doubting each other.

 

As far as she is concerned she is Myrah and Rudra does not love Myrah.
As far as   he is concerned she is Myrah and Rudra does not love Myrah.

But the fact is she is his Paro and Rudra loves only her.
Heights of irony – isn’t it ?

***

After spending another half an hour on the road side he decided to go back home. He had no plans on how to proceed. ? He has to stop this facade of marriage. But before that he had to find out why Myrah hid the truth from him. What was the motive behind her coming after him ? Not maybe immediately but soon. And he has to -  in the process - make sure it does not hurt Dhruv. Dhruv is of prime concern now.

And in the same time , after much pondering and weeping and feeling angry, Paro had reached the same conclusion. To not upset the cart right away. She does not want to make things worse. She too decided to not rock the boat. Maybe they both need time and space to think this through. And she has to – in the process – make sure it does not hurt Dhruv. Dhruv is of prime concern now.

Dinner was an uneventful affair. Rudra was in a brooding mood and everybody assumed it was because of the kidnapping case. Most of the talking was done by Kakusa and Rajeev. If anybody else noticed that the newly weds were quiet – they did not bring it up.

Rudra postponed going to sleep as much as possible. He tried to make small conversation with the other family members. A few of them at least. The children went to bed pulling their mothers along. Which meant Paro also went away with Dhruv.

He still remained in the sofa in a drowsy state. Finally his feet took him to his room. Dhruv sleeping with Paro helped the situation a little. Rudra could convince himself that he slept in the same bed next to Dhruv – just to be near Dhruv. He wanted to be with his son. Nothing more. Dhruv is all he has got. If Dhruv was sleeping elsewhere he would not have spent the night here in the room. Whatever excuse Rudra gave himself - finally the family was sleeping together in the same room, in the same bed. With Dhruv in the middle.

And somewhere in that restless night Dhruv rolled over Paro to the other side. And brought together his parents. In his drowsy state Rudra wound his hand over Paro and pulled her closer. And she was more than willing in her half asleep state to move towards him. And she held his hand in place keeping her own over it.
 

And then slowly he pulled her closer and hugged her tight. And she fit into his arms perfectly.

 

 

Which brought the elusive sleep to our dear Parud.

 

 It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.

 

And only when the brain goes to sleep can one see with the heart.

 

Hi all,


Bad news for those of you who like the FF
- this week's FF - Chapter 35 - 
will be the last chapter of the FF for some time to come...

 

This is Season1 Finale 

Good news for those of you who are forced to read and say nice things about my FF
- due to your friendship with me -
I will not pester you for some months at least.

Due to pain in hand.
Due to over usage of laptop and I have been advised to take rest.

This is not life threatening...it is life style threatening...

 

Thanks to all of you who encouraged my amateur writing.

 

 

 If you reached till here I am assuming you read the chapter fully. Please leave your comments, thoughts and feedback. If you are facing issues in posting comments please send a mail to jjkkliftkaradey@gmail.com We would like to hear from you.