Chapter 1

RR through my eyes (Chapter 1)

He did what he was longing to do for the last 7 years. Hold her face in his hands. And kiss her on her cheek. It felt like heaven. To hold her so close. To inhale her sweet smell. It was her lips on his cheeks that did the trick. That made his knees go weak. He was unaware of what was happening around him. It was just him and his beloved Paro. Till Bhabhisa came asking whether he wanted something. He was startled. What could he want ? He had everything in front of him. The very Paro he had lost all those years back. Is Bhabhisa out of her mind ? He slowly opened his eyes. And Myrah's face in front of his eyes shocked him. He looked around. He was not with his Paro. He was not in their room. He was in Myrah's room. And Myrah was kind of dazed. And there was Bhabhisa in the door. What has he done ? Kissed Myrah ? And let her kiss him ? How can he ever allow that ?  His vision cleared further and he noticed Bhabhisa's displeasure written all over her face. He  saw her going away from the room. Totally upset with what she saw. He was about to run after her when Myrah collapsed. He laid her in the bed and ran behind Bhabhisa.


All this happened days back. He has tried to maintain his distance from Myrah. But when she dressed up like Paro, he had taken out all his anger on her. Told her in no uncertain terms that he can love only Paro all his life.  Many incidents happened later. And he had to apologise to Myrah for misunderstanding her when he saw Paro's Jaipur saree in her hands. He tried many times to say sorry. But failed miserably. That is when he got hold of Myrah's video camera. He thought he will just record a sorry and leave it for her to listen to. It was easier this way.


He switched on the record button. And said sorry right away. Wrote a message on a piece of paper and was about to keep the video-cam on it when he decided to just play it back again to make sure it was recorded correctly. By mistake he pressed the rewind button for a longer time. He stopped and then pressed play. He was not used to a video-cam.  That is when he saw Myrah talking to herself. About how upset she was that nobody informed her about Paro looking like her. There were two drops of tears in her eyes. He just kept gazing at her image. Took him back to Paro's thoughts when she was crying after his gift saree was replaced by Shantanu by widow's dress. And all the other times when she had seen Paro cry or just about to cry. Like iron filings to magnet he was drawn to these recordings of Myrah. He rewinded it further back and saw the place where she was talking about bells ringing whenever she came near him. He went further back in the tape. Where she talked about the pull she felt towards Dhruv. About how she felt about the night she kissed him. Then there was a recording where she was reminding herself to not lose her memory the way she did 7 years back.

• About her dreams where she sees a woman  proposing to a guy in a gathering.
• About her dreams of something which a small girl is throwing out through a window of a car ? bus ? Not clear.
• About all these dreams which makes no sense to her.
• Faces which do not look familiar at all.
• A dream about somebody standing in the middle of a railway track... of all the places in the world.

Dhruv's coughing brought Rudra back to reality. He just forwarded the tape till it stopped. And left it on the paper and rushed to Dhruv's side. Myrah was already there giving him water and patting his back. He just stood there staring at her. He could not believe his eyes. That it was indeed his Paro standing in front of him. Who has lost her memory.


Later in the night , he tried to put together his recent memories. The way Myrah met Dhruv. The way Dhruv was so sure it is his mother and that she might have forgotten. The way destiny played a role making him Myrah's bodyguard. The way she stood on her toes under the effect of the pills and called him MajorSaab. It has to be his Paro. Her talking about her dreams confirmed it for him. But how can he make her remember the past ? All he wanted was to gather her in his arms and shower her with his kisses. To beg her to call him MajorSaab again and again. To ask her to hug him the way she used to do. With all her heart. But he had read in books how people who have amnesia should not be forced to remember things. How they should be given time and space to remember things on their own. How pushing them hard to remember can sometimes set them back rather than forward. So he decided to take it slow. Myrah  has anyway agreed to stay till Dhruv got better. And he has to find a way to make her stay back.


Then Myrah asked him to tell her three differences she had with Paro. Apart from her dress and language he could not find any. He decided to just mention the qualities his Paro had. His Myrah has. Not three but more than that. With each statement his love and affection for her shone through his eyes. He just could not help walking towards her. And was mesmerized by the love getting reflected in her eyes. And that is when he decided to woo Myrah and marry her - irrespective of whether she remembered her past or not. He was not ready to wait. He just had to legally wed her.


While walking away from her for the night he was stealing glances once in a while and was happy to see her also looking back. But then she banged against the flower vaze and lost balance. Before he could reach her she tripped and was saved by this man. Six foot tall. And Myrah was staring at him and then talking to him. He had the sudden urge to kick Rohit out of the house. Here he was - thinking of ways to marry Myrah and then comes Rohit to spoil his plans. But first things first. He changed the sleeping arrangements to make Myrah not sleep next to Rohit. Small victory...


With Paro he was never jealous. Nor was Paro. They were always made for each other. And had eyes only for each other. But with Myrah he was not sure what was in her mind. Yes, she was about to confess her love to Rudra but could that happen so fast ? Did she really mean it ? Her comment of not able to sleep in the night bugged him. Could she have wanted to be with Rohit ? He had to ask her. Her answer surprised him. And also pleased him. He liked the line of discussion and wanted to continue this. Only if that stupid Rohit had not come in at that time.


But he was in for a shock at the breakfast table. Myrah announced her marriage in 10 days. She is definitely getting back at him. Has to be her way of taking revenge for not telling her about her resemblance with Paro. What is her supposed to do ? He did confront her and she asked him to tell her what to do. "Do what your heart tells you to do" was his reply.  "Never marry without love. If what you want is not around, wait for it. You will get it one day. Love will come knocking on your door one day and you will marry the person you love"


"Will you marry me , Rudra ? Will you be able to forget Paro and love me ? Ever ? If you will even give it a try I am ready to marry you. And be with you and Dhruv till the end of my life" Myrah was straightforward. Rudra was confused. Here it is his Paro waiting for an answer from him. He can get married to her and make life easier for all the three of them. But what if Myrah never remembers the past ? And he calls her Paro (his Paro) one day in the future ? Will she misunderstand him and leave ? Will she always think of her own shadow as her enemy ? How can he bring up these topics with Myrah and get the points across ? He needed time. He asked her for time.


"That is one thing I cannot give you dammit. If you cannot make the call now , you will never be able to" saying this she walked away


(To be continued...)