Chapter 4

RR through my eyes (Chapter 4)
 Myrah was back in her room after tying the kerchief in Rudra's hand. Her heart was still beating erratically. The wound in his hand pained her more - she thought. More so because she knew she was the reason  for the same. She had anticipated a piercing glance, an accusing glance, a tortured look , a let down expression - from Rudra in the break fast table as soon as she announced the wedding in 10 days. And what she got was the tea cup getting shattered on the floor. Myrah took that as an expression of anger than pain. Till she saw the wound. She had seen Rudra picking up the pieces. And now she knew the announcement of the wedding had upset him so much that he had hurt himself.


What does Rudra feel for her ? More importantly what does she, Myrah,  feel for him ? Love ? Romance ? Infatuation ? Friendship ? Attraction ?


Attraction is what she has for Leonardo de Caprio. Infatuation is what she has for Zuckerberg. Friendship is defined by Rohit. Romance and love were the ones which were new to her. She now knows that Rudra defines it. Rudra and Parvathi define it. She has seen the longing Rudra has in his eyes everytime he talks about his wife. The way he adores her, admires her, missed her.


She has heard about people falling in love with the beauty of a person, with the voice of a person, with the intelligence, with the good mind, with the mannerisms, with the jovial nature of others. So is it wrong to fall in love with a man who is capable of intense love ? To fall in love with him for that quality ?


And does love come announced ? Is there a minimum time you should know a person before it is considered acceptable that one can fall in love ? What is that minimum time ? One year ? Two years ? Why is it that she cannot love Rudra in the matter of a few days ? With a father who is so affectionate towards his child ? A husband and lover who cherishes his wife still ? A bodyguard who protected Myrah from the claws of  death ? Not once but twice within a matter of days. An introvert who came forward to extend the hand of friendship to her ? A person who is open in communication and does not hide things from others (except for the similarity she had with Parvathi) ? A good man who still did not shout at her even when she unknowingly told him that she would have committed suicide if she were his wife ?


Is there anybody who can question her love in this world ? Myrah was sure no one can. She has fallen in love with Rudra and that is it. And the bells she used to hear in his proximity was a sign for her that she is doing the right thing.


Yes, the bells she used to hear. They stopped the moment she ran to Rudra, hugged him the way she has never hugged anybody. And then his hands embraced her, making their hearts beat together. And the bells faded and were replaced by the manliness of Rudra, by his warmth, his concern, his reassurance " Kuch Nahi Hoga. Kuch Nahin Hone Doonga" How Myrah wished that time stood still then and there.
It was like homecoming for her. As if she was just waiting all these years to be in his arms. The sense of love engulfing her. She had a vague recollection of feeling the same, feeling that she had run the same way to Rudra - probably in her past life. But she had no time to dwell in the past or future. Just the present - where only Myrah and Rudra existed.


Thus stopped the bells - replaced by the love in her eyes. Waiting like rain to fall on the drought ridden earth of Rudra. On the man who is like a living corpse. Who was just performing the act of living for his son. For the man who experienced passionate love for his wife for a few days before it was snatched from him. Myrah experienced the deep pull towards him. Which could not be explained in words. The strong urge to be his.  To make him his. To love like there isn't another day...

There are many other incidents, feelings, dreams which she could not find an explanation for. Her meeting Dhruv in the market place and feeling an odd affection towards him. Odd because she never liked kids. Ever since she saw a nightmare of a small baby, abandoned and left in a cupboard. The cry of the baby haunted her for months. Her counsellor had tried to explain to her that it could be related to childhood incidents. But Myrah had no memories of her childhood. And for the time period she can remember, her parents were so loving towards her that she was sure there was no issues with her own younger days. Then what did that baby in her nightmare represent ? The nightmare started recurring so frequently leaving her with prolonged headaches that she decided she hated kids. They can be irritating indeed !! Why then did she connect with Dhruv the minute she saw her ? Why is she so caring towards him ? Taking care of his medicines ? Worrying about pillows in his side when he is sleeping ? It is as if she has just slipped into his mother's role ...

(to be continued...)